tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1841770698939177302024-03-04T23:59:43.961-05:00Old,New, Borrowed & Blue: True Stories of a Wedding PlannerI Do Experthttp://www.blogger.com/profile/17352826686002485647noreply@blogger.comBlogger19125tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-184177069893917730.post-74271181959607946402011-10-06T22:56:00.000-04:002011-10-06T22:56:15.555-04:00Surprise Part Deux<div style="font-family: Verdana,sans-serif;"><span style="font-size: small;">One would think that there would be very little that surprises me when it comes to wedding receptions, but still I walk away from some of these events thinking “What the <i>H</i> just happened in there?” <br />
<br />
Well, a couple of weekends ago, I had that experience. I was lost for words; I know - me, lost for words - weird, that never happens! <br />
<br />
I have already written about this couple that I am going to tell you about, back in July 2010, the mother of the bride that had made all of the arrangements like picking out the date, location, colors, etc for her wedding her daughter’s wedding. She’s baaaaaaacccckkkkkk!<br />
<br />
I really liked the bride, she is cute, funny and kind. The groom was cute, funny and kind. They are obviously a perfect match. There was nothing unexpected when planning the event. The typical mom-zilla stuff and a few things the bride was very specific about, which I can handle. <br />
<br />
Then came the week before the event. The bride and her mom dropped off some things and filled me in on a few things I should be watching for during her reception - the usual stuff like don’t let the bridal party get embarrassingly drunk, watch out for Uncle Jim - he is a little handsy with the ladies, and the groom’s brother and his current girlfriend are in to exhibitionism. Wait….what. Exhibitionism, like...um….ok….wow. Will do, I will keep an eye on that for you. <br />
<br />
The event goes well until….well it went pretty well but anything that could have gone wrong, went pretty wrong. The florist didn’t bring enough flowers so we had empty vases, but never fear, I Do Expert is here! I took care of it as well as the other miscellaneous items like the two page list of pictures the bride asked me to take, the decorator forgetting the birdcage for the cards, the appetizers running out in 15 minutes, etc. <br />
<br />
At every event I try not to involved the bride with any problems unless I absolutely have to let her know. So I went to the Mother of the Bride to let her know about the items that were wrong so she could get a refund and so that they bride wouldn’t have to know. What does that MOB do, she runs right to the Bride as soon as she gets to the reception and tells her everything that has gone wrong! I was shocked - I mean when the bride was almost in tears, I pulled her away, showed her how beautiful the reception hall looked and got her announced. <br />
<br />
The bride and groom arrived about 10 minutes late, not too bad! Then they did a receiving line for 200 people. Then they did photographs and then they were re-announced. Dinner was supposed to be served at 7:00 p.m….we had dinner served finally at 9:00 p.m.<br />
<br />
Everything else went fairly smooth - taking booze away from a bridesmaid, keeping our eyes on the exhibitionist couple, kicking out an uncle, keeping an eye on the exhibitionist couple, keeping the other bridesmaid from showing her Sharon Stone impersonation to everyone, and keeping an eye on the exhibitionists. <br />
<br />
As the night was coming to a close, guests were leaving we were missing two members of the bridal party. I asked the I Do Security Officers to walk through the building with me, looking for the missing bridesmaid and groomsman. We did not find them and we scoured the building. <br />
<br />
We as are locking the doors and thanking the I Do Security Officers, the caterers came to me to let me know that they broke a window. The I Do Assistant and I went to go check out the broken window. Discovering it was a window broken on a building other than the reception site, we called the police. Since the window wasn’t broken completely in, the building’s alarm wasn’t going off. The police could not do anything unless the alarm was going off, so the dispatcher suggested I complete the breaking of the window. Not wanting to end this memorable evening with a breaking and entering charge, I declined the option to break in the building. I hung up the phone and called the building owner at 1:30 am. <br />
<br />
Apparently, I am a worry wart because the I Do Assistant and I were the only people concerned about the broken window as the building owner said he would take care of it…..within the next week.<br />
<br />
As I am on the phone, I see someone walking out from behind me. It was the missing bridesmaid! Then about a minute later, the missing groomsman walked out. Here’s the kicker….wait for it…..wait for it…..the couple was NOT the exhibitionist couple we would have expected. <br />
<br />
Then this is where it happened - I. Was. Speechless. I literally lost my words when I was on the phone, I am sure whoever I was speaking to thought I was a complete idiot, but I couldn’t put a sentence together. <br />
<br />
I hung up the phone and we were gathering the staff to leave the building when I hear a tap, tap, tap on the front window. It was the groomsman - standing there waving and knocking. I went out to the front door.<br />
<br />
Groomsman: “Um, hi...yeah, um this is awkward. So, um, we don’t have, um, our phones, keys...um we need to use your phone.”<br />
<br />
I Do Expert: “Yeah, the other bridesmaids and groomsmen thought the two of you left so they took your things you left behind,” I said to this man with this shirt buttoned incorrectly. “I will let you back in on one condition. You have to tell me where the two of you were, we scoured the building looking for people to make sure everyone was gone and you scared the bejesus out of me.”<br />
<br />
Groomsman: “Well, um...we were….um, in the men’s bathroom by the reception hall.”<br />
<br />
I Do Expert: “Sure come on in.” I was judging...boy was I judging. <br />
<br />
This dance of uncomfortable, awkwardness continued for the next 40 minutes. The bridesmaid had to call the MOB and the groomsman had to call the Mother of the Groom as these were the only phone numbers I had on file. None of the phone calls were comfortable. <br />
<br />
The who conclusion of the night reminded me of something that the great poet Lil’ Wayne once wrote a perfect lyric for this situation and I will leave you with it now;<br />
</span></div><div style="font-family: Verdana,sans-serif; text-align: center;"><span style="font-size: small;"><i>Boy I know you got a girl<br />
And you know I got a man<br />
So lets both respect the game<br />
And have a one night stand<br />
Everybody wanna know<br />
But they wouldn't understand<br />
So lets keep it on the low<br />
And have a one night stand</i></span></div><span style="font-family: Verdana,sans-serif; font-size: small;"><br />
<br />
xoxoxo,<br />
I Do Expert</span>I Do Experthttp://www.blogger.com/profile/17352826686002485647noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-184177069893917730.post-68714919704842974652011-08-29T01:58:00.001-04:002011-08-29T09:36:51.919-04:00Don't You Know Who I Am?<span style="font-family: "Trebuchet MS",sans-serif; font-size: small;">Yes, yes, yes...I am well aware that it has almost been eons since I have written my latest and greatest exploits as a wedding and event planner extraordinaire, but what can I say, I have been busy. Now while I catalog my thoughts of the events of the past many moons, I want to tell you about a quick interaction I have had with a new wedding booking. <br />
<br />
I like to call him John Jacob Jingleheimer Schmidt. I want to re-state that I have changed the names of my clients as to protect their identities. So please do not get on Facebook and look up all of the John Jacob Jingleheimer Schmidts to find out which is recently engaged. From this point on I will refer to him as “JJJS” (feel free to insert the “na na na na na na na” in your head each time you shout his name).<br />
<br />
JJJS doesn’t call me initially. JJJS’s fiance doesn’t call me initially either. JJJS’s mother calls me. I have know JJJS’s family since I was approximately in kindergarten. JJJS’s mother proceeds to introduce her self to me as if we have NEVER met, and never seen each other in our lives. I play along with the charade like any good event planner. I talk with JJJS’s mother about the costs, details, etc of planning this wedding. She is not sure that the venue is quite large enough for the party, but we place a date on hold and give her time to think. <br />
<br />
I hear rumors that JJJS has chosen a different venue and event planner so I am honestly relieved. <br />
<br />
On a random Tuesday, my phone rings. <br />
<br />
“Hello, I Do Expert - how can I make your dreams come true today?”<br />
<br />
“Well, yes hello. I need to ask some questions about a wedding.” the voice on the phone sounds like a man whose ascot is too tightly tied, “I was wondering if there is an adjustment on price of services based on who I am, and who my fiance is.”<br />
<br />
“Nope, regardless of who you are, the price for weddings and receptions is not negotiable. It is, what it is.”<br />
<br />
“Well, maybe if I introduce myself. This is John...Jacob...Jingleheimer...Schmidt.”<br />
<br />
“Fantastic. Since we are doing introductions, I am the I Do Expert. And sorry JJJS, there is no price adjustment even after you revealed your identity, just like the masked man on <i>The Bachelorette</i> didn’t get a rose after he revealed his identity.”<br />
<br />
**Sidebar: Ok, maybe I didn’t say that last piece about the masked man on <i>The Bachelorette</i>, but it would have been funny, right?<br />
<br />
Back to JJJS. I hung up the phone with him and he was disappointed he didn’t get a discount. After three more phone calls of him trying to negotiate my very firm pricing, he decided that he and his fiance would be booking the event. <br />
<br />
Needless to say, JJJS and his fiance didn’t come in with the contract and deposit. JJJS’s mother did. <br />
<br />
This wedding isn’t until fall of 2012 and I am already blogging about him. This cannot end well. <br />
<br />
So remember….whenever you go out, the people always shout, “There goes John Jacob Jingleheimer Schmidt.”<br />
<br />
xoxoxo,<br />
I Do Expert</span>I Do Experthttp://www.blogger.com/profile/17352826686002485647noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-184177069893917730.post-53142994916169302602011-01-12T14:26:00.000-05:002011-01-12T14:26:07.960-05:00Fly on the Wall<!--[if gte mso 9]><xml> <w:WordDocument> <w:View>Normal</w:View> <w:Zoom>0</w:Zoom> <w:PunctuationKerning/> <w:ValidateAgainstSchemas/> <w:SaveIfXMLInvalid>false</w:SaveIfXMLInvalid> <w:IgnoreMixedContent>false</w:IgnoreMixedContent> <w:AlwaysShowPlaceholderText>false</w:AlwaysShowPlaceholderText> <w:Compatibility> <w:BreakWrappedTables/> <w:SnapToGridInCell/> <w:WrapTextWithPunct/> <w:UseAsianBreakRules/> <w:DontGrowAutofit/> </w:Compatibility> <w:BrowserLevel>MicrosoftInternetExplorer4</w:BrowserLevel> </w:WordDocument> </xml><![endif]--><!--[if gte mso 9]><xml> <w:LatentStyles DefLockedState="false" LatentStyleCount="156"> </w:LatentStyles> </xml><![endif]--><!--[if gte mso 10]> <style>
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<div class="MsoNormal">At some point in our lives, everyone has wished to over hear a conversation happening behind closed doors.<span> </span>I know I have said – “Oh I wish I could be a fly on the wall in that room.”</div><div class="MsoNormal"><br />
</div><div class="MsoNormal">It surprised me when I get into the wedding planning industry that people were curious as to what was happening behind the closed doors where the bride and her maids were getting ready as well as what was going on where the groom and his groomsmen were preparing for the wedding ceremony.<span> </span></div><div class="MsoNormal"><br />
</div><div class="MsoNormal">So many times a grandma or other loved one stops me and asks “What’s going on in there?” or “How is the bride doing?”<span> </span>Always my answer is something charming like – “Oh she looks beautiful and is so excited,” or “He is smiling ear to ear waiting for his bride.”<span> </span>While, in my head I am likely singing a different tune.<span> </span>So what's the point of all of this, you might ask?<span> </span>I want to share with you some of the things that actually happen behind the closed doors of brides and grooms – both before and after the wedding ceremony.</div><div class="MsoNormal"><br />
</div><div class="MsoNormal">Anytime you walk into a room of brides and bridesmaids there is excitement in the air, as well as sense of importance.<span> </span>As far as the bride is concerned, she is the only person in the entire world that matters.<span> </span>Some bridesmaids have a huge problem with the bride’s self-proclaimed attitude of “this day is all about me.”</div><div class="MsoNormal"><br />
</div><div class="MsoNormal">Overhead statement by bridesmaids:</div><div class="MsoNormal"><br />
</div><div class="MsoNormal"><span> </span>“I definitely look better than the bride.”</div><div class="MsoNormal"><span> </span>“Don’t you think she could have found a dress that was more flattering?”</div><div class="MsoNormal"><span> </span>To the bride as she is walking to meet her father “You look so beautiful!!!”….as soon as the door closes “Just not as good as me on my wedding day.”</div><div class="MsoNormal"><br />
</div><div class="MsoNormal"><span> </span>It is not all bad – I have seen bridesmaids fall apart like babies when they see the bride in her dress or right before they all walk down the aisle.<span> </span>Believe me – I broke down when I saw my little, tiny, baby sister in her wedding dress (ok, so she is approximately 14 seconds younger than me).<span> </span>I think it hits you, when you see someone you love so much walking down the aisle or getting ready to walk down the aisle like a princess to commit to a life of love and marriage.<span> </span>Every wedding I have been it, or been a part of I have cried.<span> </span>Even as I send the nastiest bride down the aisle, I still get teary eyed.<span> </span>It’s touching and like I said in my very first entry – I love LOVE.</div><div class="MsoNormal"><br />
</div><div class="MsoNormal">Then you walk into the room where the men are getting ready.<span> </span>Whenever you have a group of men gathered into a room with the door closed – I feel like it turns into a locker room.<span> </span>After you get over the caged up man smell and excitement, you start to listen.</div><div class="MsoNormal"><br />
</div><div class="MsoNormal"><span> </span>“Are you sure buddy? This is the last chance to run!”</div><div class="MsoNormal"><span> </span>“I saw her and she looks beautiful man!”</div><div class="MsoNormal"><span> </span>“Dude that stripper so wanted you last night.”</div><div class="MsoNormal"><br />
</div><div class="MsoNormal">Some of the most touching and magical moments are when a father sees his daughter for the first time in her wedding dress.<span> </span>I can just picture a father looking at a little six year-old version of his daughter walking towards him in a white poufy dress and over-sized high heels on, then blinking through the tears to realize that it is his grown-up daughter.<span> </span>It is that moment where a father tries to fight back tears, to ultimately lose the battle in an embrace with his daughter ending with a kiss on the cheek.<span> </span></div><div class="MsoNormal"><br />
</div><div class="MsoNormal">There are moments, however, that are burned into my brain for completely opposite reasons.<span> </span>A situation where I never wanted to or wished to overhear what was going on in a room, but I experienced it anyway.</div><div class="MsoNormal"><br />
</div><div class="MsoNormal">One of the most horrifying moments was when I had the groom and groomsmen in place, the grandmothers lined up, I had the Mother of the Groom ready to go, bridesmaids were standing in position and I was missing the Maid of Honor, Mother of the Bride and the Bride.<span> </span>I was frantically running around looking for them, when I hear a terrible, terrible sound coming from the ladies restroom.<span> </span>I put my ear to the door and I recognize the sound, and immediately my stomach turns.<span> </span>Anyone who knows me is well aware that I do NOT handle people getting sick in front of me well.<span> </span>I tap on the door, open it a little and manage to whisper out “Is everything ok?<span> </span>We are getting ready to start.”<span> </span>The Mother of the Bride shouts “We are fine, just get it started and we will be out in a minute.”</div><div class="MsoNormal"><br />
</div><div class="MsoNormal">I try to avoid the situation, thinking it will be over soon.<span> </span>So I head over to my assistant to start sending the grandmothers out VERY slowly.<span> </span>One of the grandmothers grabbed my arm and pulled my face down to hers and said “Honey is everything ok?<span> </span>I haven’t seen the Bride.”<span> </span>While my head replays the sounds coming from the bathroom, my stomach turns and I am able to whisper to her “Yes, ma’am.<span> </span>Everything is fine.”<span> </span>I straighten her corsage and tell her how beautiful she is and send her down the aisle feeling like the Queen of Sheba.<span> </span></div><div class="MsoNormal"><br />
</div><div class="MsoNormal">I hope and pray that when I turn around, everyone is out of the ladies room and in position, but that is not the case.<span> </span>So I slowly opened the door to slide in and quickly closed it behind me.<span> </span></div><div class="MsoNormal"><br />
</div><div class="MsoNormal">There was the bride on her knees in front of the toilet, vomiting.<span> </span>The mother is screaming at her about being irresponsible and getting her dress dirty.<span> </span>The Maid of Honor is holding her veil and hair, while saying encouraging statements.<span> </span>This was one of those times I never wished to be a fly on the wall in the room.<span> </span></div><div class="MsoNormal"><br />
</div><div class="MsoNormal">“Ladies, we are ready for you.<span> </span>Mom, I am going to need you to step outside so you can be seated.”<span> </span>This kind statement was followed by death glares from the mother and a look of “please save me” from the Maid of Honor.<span> </span></div><div class="MsoNormal"><br />
</div><div class="MsoNormal">“<i>They</i> can wait on us!”<span> </span>the mother shouted at me</div><div class="MsoNormal"><br />
</div><div class="MsoNormal">“What is your problem?!?” the mother shouts at the bride.<span> </span></div><div class="MsoNormal"><br />
</div><div class="MsoNormal">“I don’t know <i>mother</i>! I guess I either had too much champagne this morning….or I’m pregnant,” the bride says.<span> </span></div><div class="MsoNormal"><br />
</div><div class="MsoNormal">My jaw hit the ground.<span> </span>No one was laughing.<span> </span>There was so much tension in the room.<span> </span>Everyone was uncomfortable and the eggshells on the floor appeared everywhere.<span> </span>There was no where to go from here.<span> </span></div><div class="MsoNormal"><br />
</div><div class="MsoNormal">Then the Maid of Honor spoke.<span> </span>In the kindest, most sympathetic and heartfelt voice uttered “Well, you are going to look so skinny in your dress after throwing up for the last 20 minutes that no one will even suspect you are knocked-up.”<span> </span>Like with that little comment, everything would be fine.<span> </span></div><div class="MsoNormal"><br />
</div><div class="MsoNormal">The bride stood up and smiled at her Maid of Honor, washed her mouth out with water and I shoved a couple of curiously strong mints down her throat.<span> </span>She straightened her dress and the Maid of Honor floofed her veil.<span> </span>The Mother of the Bride adjusted her dress and jacket, combed her hair to the side with her hands and all exited the restroom with smiles on their face ready to have a very memorable ceremony and reception.<span> </span></div><div class="MsoNormal"><br />
</div><div class="MsoNormal">Everything seemed to go smoothly throughout the ceremony and evening.<span> </span>I never saw the Mother of the Bride and Bride speak throughout the evening.<span> </span><span> </span>I don’t know what ever happened.<span> </span>I don’t know if the bride had the flu, was pregnant or what, but it does go to show that there certainly are times that you do NOT want to be a fly on the wall, and this was certainly one of them.</div>I Do Experthttp://www.blogger.com/profile/17352826686002485647noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-184177069893917730.post-48328001022651387672010-10-18T15:38:00.000-04:002010-10-18T15:38:05.111-04:00R E S P E C T...Find Out What It Means to Me!<div style="font-family: "Helvetica Neue",Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;"><span style="font-size: small;">I am a stickler for manners, politeness, kindness and respect. You will hear me telling my staff people – especially the young ladies in high school and college who work for me – about respect. I am sure I sound like a broken record when I tell them “You do not work here to be disrespected! Call me if someone is rude and I will handle it.” There is nothing I hate more than seeing someone doing his or her job and to have someone be rude or violate personal space. I see this disrespect happen much more often to the young ladies that work in the events and wedding industry than men.</span></div><div style="font-family: "Helvetica Neue",Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;"><span style="font-size: small;"><br />
</span></div><div style="font-family: "Helvetica Neue",Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;"><span style="font-size: small;">Have you read my blog entry “Buyers Remorse?” Well you should, not only is it a fine example of literary excellence, but our little tattoo getting bride’s story doesn’t end there. I try to see the best in everyone. Yes, the bride is on a tight budget, but that is not a bad thing. What is bad is when the Mother of the Bride, is negotiating pricing for different items, amenities, food, etc with all of the vendors she is working with. This isn’t a flea market lady – pay the price they are asking or if you try to negotiate and they tell you it is a firm price, move on and don’t threaten to take your business elsewhere because I am sure they all want to yell from the rooftops – PLEASE GO SOMEWHERE ELSE WITH YOUR BUSINESS!!!!!!!!!!!!</span></div><div style="font-family: "Helvetica Neue",Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;"><span style="font-size: small;"><br />
</span></div><div style="font-family: "Helvetica Neue",Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;"><span style="font-size: small;">Well, I assumed my staff and I might be in for a LONG night with this lovely bride after a few things happened during the wedding rehearsal.</span></div><div style="font-family: "Helvetica Neue",Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;"><span style="font-size: small;"><br />
</span></div><div style="font-family: "Helvetica Neue",Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;"><span style="font-size: small;">First, when asking for the final payment due before the wedding and reception (I learned my lesson the hard way about collecting money after the event), the Mother of the Bride said to me “Can the bride pay for the beer after the wedding reception so she can use money people give her as a wedding gift?” After my answer of “No!” was discussed, it was decided that they would pay for beer for their guests, but not soft drinks. WOW!</span></div><div style="font-family: "Helvetica Neue",Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;"><span style="font-size: small;"><br />
</span></div><div style="font-family: "Helvetica Neue",Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;"><span style="font-size: small;">Second, did I mention that the bride got a tattoo across her entire back to make her dress not look so plain?</span></div><div style="font-family: "Helvetica Neue",Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;"><span style="font-size: small;"><br />
</span></div><div style="font-family: "Helvetica Neue",Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;"><span style="font-size: small;">Third, the groom and brother of the groom (aka the “Best Man”) arrived individually on their moped / scooters. I do not believe that they were joining the “Go Green” movement; rather neither had valid licenses to drive an actual automobile in the state because of the number of drunken driving charges against them.</span></div><div style="font-family: "Helvetica Neue",Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;"><span style="font-size: small;"><br />
</span></div><div style="font-family: "Helvetica Neue",Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;"><span style="font-size: small;">When I wake up on the day of the wedding ceremony and reception I ironically have a catchy little tune in my head by the Black Eyed Peas, sing it with me “Tonight’s going to be a good good night.”</span></div><div style="font-family: "Helvetica Neue",Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;"><span style="font-size: small;"><br />
</span></div><div style="font-family: "Helvetica Neue",Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;"><span style="font-size: small;">Everything moves smoothly with the ceremony, and guests move into the reception area. EVERYONE is asking for beers, but not everyone is 21. As would any respectable establishment, the bartenders are carding guests and stamping his or her hand if over 21. One of the bartenders notices across the room, that there is a guest licking his stamp and pushing his nasty licked hand onto the hand of another person to share the stamp. The newly stamped individual brings his nasty unofficial stamp to the bar and upon being asked for his identification, he yelled at the bartender. She called for me and I decided that for each drink the guest had to show an id and could only get one drink per trip. </span></div><div style="font-family: "Helvetica Neue",Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;"><span style="font-size: small;"><br />
</span></div><div style="font-family: "Helvetica Neue",Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;"><span style="font-size: small;">Next customer was the dude again who just was denied a drink and yelled at the bartender. He came to me and asked for a beer. </span></div><div style="font-family: "Helvetica Neue",Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;"><span style="font-size: small;"><br />
</span></div><div style="font-family: "Helvetica Neue",Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;"><span style="font-size: small;">Me: “Can I see your ID?”</span></div><div style="font-family: "Helvetica Neue",Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;"><span style="font-size: small;"><br />
</span></div><div style="font-family: "Helvetica Neue",Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;"><span style="font-size: small;">Stupid Dude: “What for I’ve got a stamp.”</span></div><div style="font-family: "Helvetica Neue",Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;"><span style="font-size: small;"><br />
</span></div><div style="font-family: "Helvetica Neue",Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;"><span style="font-size: small;">Me: “I need to see your ID so that I know you’re at least 21.”</span></div><div style="font-family: "Helvetica Neue",Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;"><span style="font-size: small;"><br />
</span></div><div style="font-family: "Helvetica Neue",Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;"><span style="font-size: small;">Stupid Dude: “Listen Sweetie, I left my ID at home. Can’t I just leave you a big tip and you can pretend like you checked my ID.”</span></div><div style="font-family: "Helvetica Neue",Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;"><span style="font-size: small;"><br />
</span></div><div style="font-family: "Helvetica Neue",Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;"><span style="font-size: small;">Me: “Nope.”</span></div><div style="font-family: "Helvetica Neue",Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;"><span style="font-size: small;"><br />
</span></div><div style="font-family: "Helvetica Neue",Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;"><span style="font-size: small;">Stupid Dude: “F*** You! You dumb B****!”</span></div><div style="font-family: "Helvetica Neue",Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;"><span style="font-size: small;"><br />
</span></div><div style="font-family: "Helvetica Neue",Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;"><span style="font-size: small;">Me: “Soooooo, you don’t want a soft drink or kiddie cocktail maybe?”</span></div><div style="font-family: "Helvetica Neue",Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;"><span style="font-size: small;"><br />
</span></div><div style="font-family: "Helvetica Neue",Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;"><span style="font-size: small;">We all started laughing, and looked across the room to see Stupid Dude talking to a group of guys and one of them came up to the bar to get a drink. He was of age, so he left with a beer. I heard shouting across the room and here was Stupid Dude chugging a beer. </span></div><div style="font-family: "Helvetica Neue",Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;"><span style="font-size: small;"><br />
</span></div><div style="font-family: "Helvetica Neue",Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;"><span style="font-size: small;">Luckily, there were uniformed police officers as our security guards that night. We had the officers take the beer from him and ask him not to drink any longer, then the officers were walking back to the bar and Stupid Dude was following the officers, mocking them as they walked. The interaction went a little like this:</span></div><div style="font-family: "Helvetica Neue",Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;"><span style="font-size: small;"><br />
</span></div><div style="font-family: "Helvetica Neue",Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;"><span style="font-size: small;">Cop: “We took care of it I Do Expert, so we will keep an eye on him.”</span></div><div style="font-family: "Helvetica Neue",Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;"><span style="font-size: small;"><br />
</span></div><div style="font-family: "Helvetica Neue",Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;"><span style="font-size: small;">Me: “You have an admirer following you.”</span></div><div style="font-family: "Helvetica Neue",Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;"><span style="font-size: small;"><br />
</span></div><div style="font-family: "Helvetica Neue",Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;"><span style="font-size: small;">Cop: “Oh I know.”</span></div><div style="font-family: "Helvetica Neue",Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;"><span style="font-size: small;"><br />
</span></div><div style="font-family: "Helvetica Neue",Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;"><span style="font-size: small;">Stupid Dude: “Get me a beer!”</span></div><div style="font-family: "Helvetica Neue",Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;"><span style="font-size: small;"><br />
</span></div><div style="font-family: "Helvetica Neue",Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;"><span style="font-size: small;">Me: “Um are you talking to me?”</span></div><div style="font-family: "Helvetica Neue",Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;"><span style="font-size: small;"><br />
</span></div><div style="font-family: "Helvetica Neue",Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;"><span style="font-size: small;">Stupid Dude: “Yes, are you deaf? I said get me a beer!”</span></div><div style="font-family: "Helvetica Neue",Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;"><span style="font-size: small;"><br />
</span></div><div style="font-family: "Helvetica Neue",Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;"><span style="font-size: small;">Me: “Did you find your ID that you left at home?”</span></div><div style="font-family: "Helvetica Neue",Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;"><span style="font-size: small;"><br />
</span></div><div style="font-family: "Helvetica Neue",Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;"><span style="font-size: small;">Stupid Dude: “No, but I want a beer.”</span></div><div style="font-family: "Helvetica Neue",Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;"><br />
</div><div style="font-family: "Helvetica Neue",Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;"><span style="font-size: small;">Cop: “I Do Expert are you done with this guy?”</span></div><div style="font-family: "Helvetica Neue",Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;"><span style="font-size: small;"><br />
</span></div><div style="font-family: "Helvetica Neue",Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;"><span style="font-size: small;">Me: “Absolutely!”</span></div><div style="font-family: "Helvetica Neue",Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;"><span style="font-size: small;"><br />
</span></div><div style="font-family: "Helvetica Neue",Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;"><span style="font-size: small;">Cop: “Listen Stupid Dude, you can only come up here to get a soft drink and if we see you asking for a beer or drinking a beer we will escort you out of the building.”</span></div><div style="font-family: "Helvetica Neue",Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;"><span style="font-size: small;"><br />
</span></div><div style="font-family: "Helvetica Neue",Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;"><span style="font-size: small;">Stupid Dude begins to mock the cops. Anything they say, Stupid Dude says. Anything they do, Stupid Dude does. Everything appears to be under control, so the officers move to a different area of the building to make sure everything is safe. Stupid Dude follows them. Forty minutes go by and Stupid Dude is still parroting everything that the police officers say and do. By this point Stupid Dude’s friend has joined in on the “fun.” Finally, when Stupid Dude and his friend had transferred their disrespect onto the young co-ed sitting at the front desk greeting people, the police officers escorted both of them out of the building and they were told they couldn’t return. </span></div><div style="font-family: "Helvetica Neue",Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;"><span style="font-size: small;"><br />
</span></div><div style="font-family: "Helvetica Neue",Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;"><span style="font-size: small;">Cops: “It is time for you to leave.”</span></div><div style="font-family: "Helvetica Neue",Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;"><span style="font-size: small;"><br />
</span></div><div style="font-family: "Helvetica Neue",Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;"><span style="font-size: small;">Stupid Dude: “What the F***! You can’t do that!”</span></div><div style="font-family: "Helvetica Neue",Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;"><span style="font-size: small;"><br />
</span></div><div style="font-family: "Helvetica Neue",Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;"><span style="font-size: small;">Cops: “Yes we can. You need to find someone to give you a ride home.”</span></div><div style="font-family: "Helvetica Neue",Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;"><span style="font-size: small;"><br />
</span></div><div style="font-family: "Helvetica Neue",Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;"><span style="font-size: small;">Stupid Dude: “What’s your badge number Pig so that I can report you?”</span></div><div style="font-family: "Helvetica Neue",Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;"><span style="font-size: small;"><br />
</span></div><div style="font-family: "Helvetica Neue",Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;"><span style="font-size: small;">Cop #1: “Badge Number 8309.”</span></div><div style="font-family: "Helvetica Neue",Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;"><span style="font-size: small;"><br />
</span></div><div style="font-family: "Helvetica Neue",Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;"><span style="font-size: small;">Stupid Dude: “I got it and I’m calling it in now Cop 9803”</span></div><div style="font-family: "Helvetica Neue",Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;"><span style="font-size: small;"><br />
</span></div><div style="font-family: "Helvetica Neue",Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;"><span style="font-size: small;">We all got quite a laugh from Stupid Dude, but I can never imagine treating someone, especially a police officer that way. Things seemed to be back on track. I went to check on the bartenders and the reception. Everyone was dancing and having a good time. </span></div><div style="font-family: "Helvetica Neue",Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;"><span style="font-size: small;"><br />
</span></div><div style="font-family: "Helvetica Neue",Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;"><span style="font-size: small;">Then I went out to the front desk area to see the bride screaming at the young lady at the reception desk. </span></div><div style="font-family: "Helvetica Neue",Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;"><span style="font-size: small;"><br />
</span></div><div style="font-family: "Helvetica Neue",Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;"><span style="font-size: small;">Me: “I’m sorry to interrupt this conversation, but is there a problem?” I say as kindly as one can while wanting to punch someone in the face.</span></div><div style="font-family: "Helvetica Neue",Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;"><span style="font-size: small;"><br />
</span></div><div style="font-family: "Helvetica Neue",Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;"><span style="font-size: small;">Bride: “Yes there’s a problem. People were thrown out of my wedding.”</span></div><div style="font-family: "Helvetica Neue",Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;"><span style="font-size: small;"><br />
</span></div><div style="font-family: "Helvetica Neue",Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;"><span style="font-size: small;">Me: “There were two men asked to leave the reception, you are correct.”</span></div><div style="font-family: "Helvetica Neue",Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;"><span style="font-size: small;"><br />
</span></div><div style="font-family: "Helvetica Neue",Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;"><span style="font-size: small;">Bride: “I cannot believe this! They didn’t do anything wrong! They didn’t even hit anyone or get into a fight yet.”</span></div><div style="font-family: "Helvetica Neue",Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;"><span style="font-size: small;"><br />
</span></div><div style="font-family: "Helvetica Neue",Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;"><span style="font-size: small;">Me: “Well they were disrespectful to the police officers, my staff and they were drinking underage.”</span></div><div style="font-family: "Helvetica Neue",Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;"><span style="font-size: small;"><br />
</span></div><div style="font-family: "Helvetica Neue",Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;"><span style="font-size: small;">I honestly didn’t make out a lot of the next couple of sentences that were screamed in my face. It was a string of profanities and fingers being pointed in my face. I was in shock and I was doing everything to contain my anger and laughter. I was instantly whisked away to the set of Jerry Springer.</span></div><div style="font-family: "Helvetica Neue",Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;"><span style="font-size: small;"><br />
</span></div><div style="font-family: "Helvetica Neue",Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;"><span style="font-size: small;">I was brought back into reality by the police officers standing on each side of me. One said “We are done hearing this, are you done? We can take her out of here right now!” </span></div><div style="font-family: "Helvetica Neue",Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;"><span style="font-size: small;"><br />
</span></div><div style="font-family: "Helvetica Neue",Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;"><span style="font-size: small;">My eyes focus back on the situation and notice that no only is the “lovely” bride still scream at me, but looking around the entrance of the reception facility there is a crowd – I think I noticed a few fist pumps, some Arsenio Hall “whoops,” and other cat calls associated with professional wrestling events or NASCAR and I was ripped from Jerry Springer, back to reality. </span></div><div style="font-family: "Helvetica Neue",Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;"><span style="font-size: small;"><br />
</span></div><div style="font-family: "Helvetica Neue",Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;"><span style="font-size: small;">Me: “Bride. Listen. Bride. BRIDE!!!”</span></div><div style="font-family: "Helvetica Neue",Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;"><span style="font-size: small;"><br />
</span></div><div style="font-family: "Helvetica Neue",Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;"><span style="font-size: small;">Bride: “Yeah, B****”</span></div><div style="font-family: "Helvetica Neue",Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;"><span style="font-size: small;"><br />
</span></div><div style="font-family: "Helvetica Neue",Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;"><span style="font-size: small;">Me: “I am going to give you two choices. A) These officers can take you out of your wedding reception and you can spend your wedding night in jail or B) you can go back into your wedding reception and enjoy the rest of your night.”</span></div><div style="font-family: "Helvetica Neue",Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;"><span style="font-size: small;"><br />
</span></div><div style="font-family: "Helvetica Neue",Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;"><span style="font-size: small;">Then I was called names that I have never been called before and words I am not even comfortable using asterisks to “bleep” them out.</span></div><div style="font-family: "Helvetica Neue",Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;"><span style="font-size: small;"><br />
</span></div><div style="font-family: "Helvetica Neue",Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;"><span style="font-size: small;">Within seconds, the officers were being called back to the bar, to help the bartenders “control a situation.”</span></div><div style="font-family: "Helvetica Neue",Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;"><span style="font-size: small;"><br />
</span></div><div style="font-family: "Helvetica Neue",Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;"><span style="font-size: small;">A few minutes later I was called back to the reception area to speak with the bride’s father. I explained the situation. He was almost in tears from the embarrassment and apologized for his daughter. He supported my decisions 100% and he want back into the reception and hung out by the bar the rest of the night. If a guest even thought about raising his or her voice at one of the bartenders, the father interjected and either told them to go dance or to leave the reception. Thank my lucky stars for this Father of the Bride!!!</span></div><div style="font-family: "Helvetica Neue",Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;"><span style="font-size: small;"><br />
</span></div><div style="font-family: "Helvetica Neue",Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;"><span style="font-size: small;">The rest of the evening went fairly well. I had to threaten a group of 10 year olds with being arrested to get them to listen to me, we had to clean up intentional spills, but at least there were not any more people who decided they wanted to scream in my face. </span></div><div style="font-family: "Helvetica Neue",Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;"><span style="font-size: small;"><br />
</span></div><div style="font-family: "Helvetica Neue",Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;"><span style="font-size: small;">When the bar closed and people left the building, we all did a happy dance. </span></div><div style="font-family: "Helvetica Neue",Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;"><span style="font-size: small;"><br />
</span></div><div style="font-family: "Helvetica Neue",Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;"><span style="font-size: small;">I do believe that we can learn something from every encounter we have during our lives. What did I learn from this bride? Hmmmmm….I learned that a great way to accessorize a wedding dress is to get a tattoo. I also learned a plethora of new curse words. </span></div><div style="font-family: "Helvetica Neue",Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;"><span style="font-size: small;"><br />
</span></div><div style="font-family: "Helvetica Neue",Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;"><span style="font-size: small;">I have a feeling that this is NOT the last time I will hear from this bride or her family. There is a small part of me that doesn’t want to check my voicemail or answer my phone for the next couple of weeks. I anticipate a phone call from the bride or her mother any second now. </span></div><div style="font-family: "Helvetica Neue",Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;"><span style="font-size: small;"><br />
</span></div><div style="font-family: "Helvetica Neue",Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;"><span style="font-size: small;">Oh no, my phone is ringing now – I hope it is not them!!!</span></div><div style="font-family: "Helvetica Neue",Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;"><span style="font-size: small;"><br />
</span></div><div style="font-family: "Helvetica Neue",Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;"><span style="font-size: small;">Love,</span></div><div style="font-family: "Helvetica Neue",Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;"><span style="font-size: small;">I Do Expert</span></div>I Do Experthttp://www.blogger.com/profile/17352826686002485647noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-184177069893917730.post-84349609606571004392010-08-28T15:20:00.000-04:002010-08-28T15:20:04.411-04:00Buyer's Remorse<meta content="text/html; charset=utf-8" http-equiv="Content-Type"></meta><meta content="Word.Document" name="ProgId"></meta><meta content="Microsoft Word 11" name="Generator"></meta><meta content="Microsoft Word 11" name="Originator"></meta><link href="file:///C:%5CDOCUME%7E1%5CKendrak%5CLOCALS%7E1%5CTemp%5Cmsohtml1%5C01%5Cclip_filelist.xml" rel="File-List"></link><style>
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<div class="MsoNormal" style="font-family: Georgia,"Times New Roman",serif;">Have you ever purchased something and then thought you shouldn’t have gotten it? I have! I love accessories – a girl can really NEVER have too many – purses, jewelry, hair things, sunglasses, scarves, hats, shoes, etc. If buyer’s remorse was a town, I would likely be the mayor. </div><div class="MsoNormal" style="font-family: Georgia,"Times New Roman",serif;"><br />
</div><div class="MsoNormal" style="font-family: Georgia,"Times New Roman",serif;">I am someone who tends to give more than purchase things for myself, so when it comes to spoiling me – I have a hard time. Everyone though has a friend who can help you justify any purchase you make. Mine is one of my oldest friends – let’s call her Little Black Dress (LBD for short). I could be across the country, buy something and our conversation would go a little something like this.</div><div class="MsoNormal" style="font-family: Georgia,"Times New Roman",serif;"><br />
</div><div class="MsoNormal" style="font-family: Georgia,"Times New Roman",serif;">Me: “Um…..I might have just purchased a Tory Burch T Stitch Tote.”</div><div class="MsoNormal" style="font-family: Georgia,"Times New Roman",serif;"><br />
</div><div class="MsoNormal" style="font-family: Georgia,"Times New Roman",serif;">LBD: “What color?”</div><div class="MsoNormal" style="font-family: Georgia,"Times New Roman",serif;"><br />
</div><div class="MsoNormal" style="font-family: Georgia,"Times New Roman",serif;">Me: “Black.”</div><div class="MsoNormal" style="font-family: Georgia,"Times New Roman",serif;"><br />
</div><div class="MsoNormal" style="font-family: Georgia,"Times New Roman",serif;">LBD: “Oh my gosh, think of all of the things you can use it for! It could be your carry on for a trip to see me, it could be for work and you will easily be able to dress it up or dress it down.”</div><div class="MsoNormal" style="font-family: Georgia,"Times New Roman",serif;"><br />
</div><div class="MsoNormal" style="font-family: Georgia,"Times New Roman",serif;">Me: “You think?”</div><div class="MsoNormal" style="font-family: Georgia,"Times New Roman",serif;"><br />
</div><div class="MsoNormal" style="font-family: Georgia,"Times New Roman",serif;">LBD: “Honey, you are money. No worries – keep it and love it!”</div><div class="MsoNormal" style="font-family: Georgia,"Times New Roman",serif;"><br />
</div><div class="MsoNormal" style="font-family: Georgia,"Times New Roman",serif;">What would I do without her? Something else I value about LBD as well as all of my other closest and dearest friends is that they would all tell me if I made a bad purchase. So it was surprising to me when I had a conversation with a bride on a Monday about her wedding that Saturday. </div><div class="MsoNormal" style="font-family: Georgia,"Times New Roman",serif;"><br />
</div><div class="MsoNormal" style="font-family: Georgia,"Times New Roman",serif;">We met to go over some last minute details and I asked how she was doing. She proceeded to tell me that she put her dress on the week before and was unhappy with how plain and boring it was. She kept going on and on about how plain it was and the back was just a “U”-shaped back with no decorations. </div><div class="MsoNormal" style="font-family: Georgia,"Times New Roman",serif;"><br />
</div><div class="MsoNormal" style="font-family: Georgia,"Times New Roman",serif;">She assured me she had the “problem” taken care of. All that kept running through my mind was please don’t tell me you glued rhinestones and glitter to your dress with neon puffy paint you found under your bed from 1982!! </div><div class="MsoNormal" style="font-family: Georgia,"Times New Roman",serif;"><br />
</div><div class="MsoNormal" style="font-family: Georgia,"Times New Roman",serif;">Then it happened! She lowered the hoodie she was wearing to reveal a huge tattoo. Smiling from ear to ear she said</div><div class="MsoNormal" style="font-family: Georgia,"Times New Roman",serif;"><br />
</div><div class="MsoNormal" style="font-family: Georgia,"Times New Roman",serif;">“Since my dress was so plain, I decided to get this!!”</div><div class="MsoNormal" style="font-family: Georgia,"Times New Roman",serif;"><br />
</div><div class="MsoNormal" style="font-family: Georgia,"Times New Roman",serif;">I was utterly speechless. Hoping it was a joke, I didn’t say anything. I just stood there, waiting for a camera crew to jump out and tell me I just got punked, but that didn’t happen. </div><div class="MsoNormal" style="font-family: Georgia,"Times New Roman",serif;"><br />
</div><div class="MsoNormal" style="font-family: Georgia,"Times New Roman",serif;">“So, what do you think?” she said.</div><div class="MsoNormal" style="font-family: Georgia,"Times New Roman",serif;"><br />
</div><div class="MsoNormal" style="font-family: Georgia,"Times New Roman",serif;">“Well, that’s permanent!” was all I could say. </div><div class="MsoNormal" style="font-family: Georgia,"Times New Roman",serif;"><br />
</div><div class="MsoNormal" style="font-family: Georgia,"Times New Roman",serif;">Where were her friends? Her mother? Her sense of self? I am not anti-tattoo, but I am opposed to getting a tattoo that spans your back in order to accessorize your wedding dress. How about a backwards necklace, a bow, puffy paint from 1982? </div><div class="MsoNormal" style="font-family: Georgia,"Times New Roman",serif;"><br />
</div><div class="MsoNormal" style="font-family: Georgia,"Times New Roman",serif;">I am still just surprised that anyone could go through the following thought process:</div><div class="MsoNormal" style="font-family: Georgia,"Times New Roman",serif;"> 1) Try on wedding dress.</div><div class="MsoNormal" style="font-family: Georgia,"Times New Roman",serif;"> 2) Boo! Wedding dress is plain and I am unhappy with it.</div><div class="MsoNormal" style="font-family: Georgia,"Times New Roman",serif;"> 3) What should I do to make this dress less plain?</div><div class="MsoNormal" style="font-family: Georgia,"Times New Roman",serif;"> 4) I know – I am going to get a tattoo that spans my entire back a week and a half before my wedding!</div><div class="MsoNormal" style="font-family: Georgia,"Times New Roman",serif;"><br />
</div><div class="MsoNormal" style="font-family: Georgia,"Times New Roman",serif;">Who does that? I hope and pray she doesn’t wake up with a huge case of buyer’s remorse, because not only are diamonds forever, but so are tattoos!</div><div class="MsoNormal" style="font-family: Georgia,"Times New Roman",serif;"><br />
</div><div class="MsoNormal" style="font-family: Georgia,"Times New Roman",serif;">Love,</div><div class="MsoNormal" style="font-family: Georgia,"Times New Roman",serif;">I Do Expert</div>I Do Experthttp://www.blogger.com/profile/17352826686002485647noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-184177069893917730.post-88676865118829075812010-08-19T14:36:00.001-04:002010-08-19T14:58:27.918-04:00Respondez s'il Vous Plait<div style="font-family: Georgia,"Times New Roman",serif;"><span style="font-size: small;">I think that the art of the R.S.V.P. has been long on my generation. I notice that people in my parent's generation are quick to respond to a party with regret or with attendance, but I see people struggling with their guest count on a daily basis when planning for a wedding. I inevitably get the question from brides, "Is it OK to call people who haven't replied?" I always ask myself W.W.E.P.D? (What Would Emily Post Do?) Duh!</span></div><div style="font-family: Georgia,"Times New Roman",serif;"><span style="font-size: small;"><br />
</span></div><div style="font-family: Georgia,"Times New Roman",serif;"><span style="font-size: small;"></span></div><div style="font-family: Georgia,"Times New Roman",serif;"><span style="font-size: small;">What a sad state of society that people, who you care about enough to invite to your special wedding day and they cannot even return the card or postcard that the bride already stamped? How hard is it – check yes or no – just like the notes in grade school – do you like me, like really like me?</span></div><div style="font-family: Georgia,"Times New Roman",serif;"><span style="font-size: small;"><br />
</span></div><div style="font-family: Georgia,"Times New Roman",serif;"><span style="font-size: small;"></span></div><div style="font-family: Georgia,"Times New Roman",serif;"><span style="font-size: small;">I had a bride and mother of the bride who took personal offense to those who didn't RSVP. They gave a list to one of my staff members and had her check off names and number of guests as they came in. If the name was not on the list we were instructed to turn the guests away or pull them out of line and consult with the mother of the bride. This was NOT a Hollywood movie premiere, this was NOT the Queen of England's grandson's wedding, this wasn't even a local TV reporter's wedding – this was Jane Doe from Nowhere, USA. She was not a celebrity, she was not even a local a radio or tv personality and from what I know of her, I am guessing she wasn't in the popular group in high school either. It was weird, but in this profession, you have to handle brides, and mother of the brides, with kid gloves, so we proceeded to check guest's names off the list as they entered and most were appalled.</span></div><div style="font-family: Georgia,"Times New Roman",serif;"><span style="font-size: small;"><br />
</span></div><div style="font-family: Georgia,"Times New Roman",serif;"><span style="font-size: small;"></span></div><div style="font-family: Georgia,"Times New Roman",serif;"><span style="font-size: small;">"Hello, can I get your name and number in your party to check against our guest list?" my cute little college co-ed staffer said to what appeared to be the Duggar family, you know from TLC's "19 Kids and Counting."</span></div><div style="font-family: Georgia,"Times New Roman",serif;"><span style="font-size: small;"><br />
</span></div><div style="font-family: Georgia,"Times New Roman",serif;"><span style="font-size: small;"></span></div><div style="font-family: Georgia,"Times New Roman",serif;"><span style="font-size: small;">"Jim Bob Duggar and there are 19 in our family," the patriarch stated.</span></div><div style="font-family: Georgia,"Times New Roman",serif;"><span style="font-size: small;"><br />
</span></div><div style="font-family: Georgia,"Times New Roman",serif;"><span style="font-size: small;"></span></div><div style="font-family: Georgia,"Times New Roman",serif;"><span style="font-size: small;">"Hmmmmm. Let's See. Okay, here you are, but it looks like you RSVPed for only 12, so I will have to ask you to step aside while I get permission from my boss to let you all in." The check-in girl proceeded to call me on the radio and explain the situation. I checked with the mother of the bride and our conversation went a little like this:</span></div><div style="font-family: Georgia,"Times New Roman",serif;"><span style="font-size: small;"><br />
</span></div><div style="font-family: Georgia,"Times New Roman",serif;"><span style="font-size: small;"></span></div><div style="font-family: Georgia,"Times New Roman",serif;"><span style="font-size: small;">"Teresa, we have the Duggars at the front door with a party of 19, but you only have 12 on the list, should we let them all in and change the tables a little to accommodate the extras, it shouldn't be a problem at all."</span></div><div style="font-family: Georgia,"Times New Roman",serif;"><span style="font-size: small;"><br />
</span></div><div style="font-family: Georgia,"Times New Roman",serif;"><span style="font-size: small;"></span></div><div style="font-family: Georgia,"Times New Roman",serif;"><span style="font-size: small;">"If they RSVPed for 12, then only 12 can attend," the mother of the bride said gruffly and matter of factly – no thinking it over or anything.</span></div><div style="font-family: Georgia,"Times New Roman",serif;"><span style="font-size: small;"><br />
</span></div><div style="font-family: Georgia,"Times New Roman",serif;"><span style="font-size: small;"></span></div><div style="font-family: Georgia,"Times New Roman",serif;"><span style="font-size: small;">"Are you sure?"</span></div><div style="font-family: Georgia,"Times New Roman",serif;"><span style="font-size: small;"><br />
</span></div><div style="font-family: Georgia,"Times New Roman",serif;"><span style="font-size: small;"></span></div><div style="font-family: Georgia,"Times New Roman",serif;"><span style="font-size: small;">"I am positive. Please go now!" 99% of me wanted to curtsy and say "Yes your royal highness"</span></div><div style="font-family: Georgia,"Times New Roman",serif;"><span style="font-size: small;"><br />
</span></div><div style="font-family: Georgia,"Times New Roman",serif;"><span style="font-size: small;"></span></div><div style="font-family: Georgia,"Times New Roman",serif;"><span style="font-size: small;">As I head to the front door, I am trying to think of a way to tell this family that only part of them can attend the reception. "Hello, I'm the I Do Expert, and I understand that we have a little problem here with the guest count for your family." Jim Bob does the explaining and counting of all of the children and pregnant wife.</span></div><div style="font-family: Georgia,"Times New Roman",serif;"><span style="font-size: small;"></span></div><div style="font-family: Georgia,"Times New Roman",serif;"><span style="font-size: small;"><br />
</span></div><div style="font-family: Georgia,"Times New Roman",serif;"><span style="font-size: small;">"Well, I have spoken to the mother of the bride, Teresa, and she is only allowing me to admit 12 members of your family to the reception since that was the number that you returned to her. I'm sorry, but only 12 can come in." I felt mean and rude just even having to utter these words to someone. How terrible! I am turning people away from a wedding reception not the hot new nightclub where Justin Timberlake is performing.</span></div><div style="font-family: Georgia,"Times New Roman",serif;"><span style="font-size: small;"><br />
</span></div><div style="font-family: Georgia,"Times New Roman",serif;"><span style="font-size: small;"></span></div><div style="font-family: Georgia,"Times New Roman",serif;"><span style="font-size: small;">After some discussion, 12 Duggars entered and 7 left. I am glad that they were kind to my staff and myself about it, knowing that it was not our decision, although part of me wished that they all would have loaded into the RV and left.</span></div><div style="font-family: Georgia,"Times New Roman",serif;"><span style="font-size: small;"></span></div><div style="font-family: Georgia,"Times New Roman",serif;"><span style="font-size: small;"><br />
</span></div><div style="font-family: Georgia,"Times New Roman",serif;"><span style="font-size: small;">While checking on the progress of the reception happenings, I got another call on the radio from the young woman at the door checking names. I went to the mother of the bride again.</span></div><div style="font-family: Georgia,"Times New Roman",serif;"><span style="font-size: small;"></span></div><div style="font-family: Georgia,"Times New Roman",serif;"><span style="font-size: small;"><br />
</span></div><div style="font-family: Georgia,"Times New Roman",serif;"><span style="font-size: small;">"Teresa, sorry to interrupt your conversation, but I need to steal a word with you. We have your cousin Mary at the front door with her husband and two children. Since you haven't seen her in four years and you were the best of friends growing up, she wanted to surprise you."</span></div><div style="font-family: Georgia,"Times New Roman",serif;"><span style="font-size: small;"></span></div><div style="font-family: Georgia,"Times New Roman",serif;"><span style="font-size: small;"><br />
</span></div><div style="font-family: Georgia,"Times New Roman",serif;"><span style="font-size: small;">"Are they on the list?" she snarled.</span></div><div style="font-family: Georgia,"Times New Roman",serif;"><span style="font-size: small;"></span></div><div style="font-family: Georgia,"Times New Roman",serif;"><span style="font-size: small;"><br />
</span></div><div style="font-family: Georgia,"Times New Roman",serif;"><span style="font-size: small;">"No, she sent a regret so that she could surprise you and....." I was quickly interrupted.</span></div><div style="font-family: Georgia,"Times New Roman",serif;"><span style="font-size: small;"></span></div><div style="font-family: Georgia,"Times New Roman",serif;"><span style="font-size: small;"><br />
</span></div><div style="font-family: Georgia,"Times New Roman",serif;"><span style="font-size: small;">"I don't care if it is the President of the United States, if they are not on the list, they cannot come in."</span></div><div style="font-family: Georgia,"Times New Roman",serif;"><span style="font-size: small;"><br />
</span></div><div style="font-family: Georgia,"Times New Roman",serif;"><span style="font-size: small;"></span></div><div style="font-family: Georgia,"Times New Roman",serif;"><span style="font-size: small;">"Are you serious?" I said. I know! It slipped! I shouldn't have said it, but I just popped out. I was disgusted by this woman. Who doesn't something like this?</span></div><div style="font-family: Georgia,"Times New Roman",serif;"><span style="font-size: small;"><br />
</span></div><div style="font-family: Georgia,"Times New Roman",serif;"><span style="font-size: small;"></span></div><div style="font-family: Georgia,"Times New Roman",serif;"><span style="font-size: small;">So I had to go back to the front door and break the news to Mary, who by the time she walked out of the door was in tears and handed me a gift to give to the bride and one for the mother of the bride.</span></div><div style="font-family: Georgia,"Times New Roman",serif;"><span style="font-size: small;"><br />
</span></div><div style="font-family: Georgia,"Times New Roman",serif;"><span style="font-size: small;"></span></div><div style="font-family: Georgia,"Times New Roman",serif;"><span style="font-size: small;">"Are you sure?" I said.</span></div><div style="font-family: Georgia,"Times New Roman",serif;"><span style="font-size: small;"><br />
</span></div><div style="font-family: Georgia,"Times New Roman",serif;"><span style="font-size: small;"></span></div><div style="font-family: Georgia,"Times New Roman",serif;"><span style="font-size: small;">"Yes, the gift for the bride is something I made for her with all of the photos of all of the women in our family in their wedding dresses and the gift for Teresa is a picture of the two of us when we were 7 playing dress-up as brides. Thank you!"</span></div><div style="font-family: Georgia,"Times New Roman",serif;"><span style="font-size: small;"><br />
</span></div><div style="font-family: Georgia,"Times New Roman",serif;"><span style="font-size: small;"></span></div><div style="font-family: Georgia,"Times New Roman",serif;"><span style="font-size: small;">I couldn't believe it. I would have touch-downed the photos in the parking lot and then run them over with my car.</span></div><div style="font-family: Georgia,"Times New Roman",serif;"><span style="font-size: small;"><br />
</span></div><div style="font-family: Georgia,"Times New Roman",serif;"><span style="font-size: small;"></span></div><div style="font-family: Georgia,"Times New Roman",serif;"><span style="font-size: small;">At the end of the evening, the mother of the bride went to the caterer and said, "I am not paying for all of the food bill"</span></div><div style="font-family: Georgia,"Times New Roman",serif;"><span style="font-size: small;"><br />
</span></div><div style="font-family: Georgia,"Times New Roman",serif;"><span style="font-size: small;"></span></div><div style="font-family: Georgia,"Times New Roman",serif;"><span style="font-size: small;">The head caterer said "Was something wrong?"</span></div><div style="font-family: Georgia,"Times New Roman",serif;"><span style="font-size: small;"><br />
</span></div><div style="font-family: Georgia,"Times New Roman",serif;"><span style="font-size: small;"></span></div><div style="font-family: Georgia,"Times New Roman",serif;"><span style="font-size: small;">"No," she said "but I saw your staff sitting down and eating and I am just not paying you to eat the food that I paid for."</span></div><div style="font-family: Georgia,"Times New Roman",serif;"><span style="font-size: small;"><br />
</span></div><div style="font-family: Georgia,"Times New Roman",serif;"><span style="font-size: small;"></span></div><div style="font-family: Georgia,"Times New Roman",serif;"><span style="font-size: small;">Calmly the caterer said "Ma'am, I am assure you that the food we ate you are not charged for. We always made extra so that our staff who are on their feet for eight hours,serving your guests, can have a bite eat. All of the extras are boxed for you to take home, so you actually get more than you paid for."</span></div><div style="font-family: Georgia,"Times New Roman",serif;"><span style="font-size: small;"><br />
</span></div><div style="font-family: Georgia,"Times New Roman",serif;"><span style="font-size: small;"></span></div><div style="font-family: Georgia,"Times New Roman",serif;"><span style="font-size: small;">"Well fine, as long as I am not paying for <i>you people</i> to eat then that is fine."</span></div><div style="font-family: Georgia,"Times New Roman",serif;"><span style="font-size: small;"><br />
</span></div><div style="font-family: Georgia,"Times New Roman",serif;"><span style="font-size: small;"></span></div><div style="font-family: Georgia,"Times New Roman",serif;"><span style="font-size: small;">Emily Post, the queen of etiquette, and one of the people who fascinates me the most, once wrote that "anyone receiving an invitation with an R.S.V.P on it is obliged to reply, and breaching this standard is inexcusably rude."</span></div><div style="font-family: Georgia,"Times New Roman",serif;"><span style="font-size: small;"><br />
</span></div><div style="font-family: Georgia,"Times New Roman",serif;"><span style="font-size: small;"></span></div><div style="font-family: Georgia,"Times New Roman",serif;"><span style="font-size: small;">I wonder what Ms. Post would say about turning away guests from a party you invited them to for bringing too many people or for trying to surprise you with a reunion four years in the works?</span></div><div style="font-family: Georgia,"Times New Roman",serif;"><span style="font-size: small;"><br />
</span></div><div style="font-family: Georgia,"Times New Roman",serif;"><span style="font-size: small;"></span></div><div style="font-family: Georgia,"Times New Roman",serif;"><span style="font-size: small;">People never cease to amaze, surprise and shock me.</span></div><div style="font-family: Georgia,"Times New Roman",serif;"><span style="font-size: small;"><br />
</span></div><div style="font-family: Georgia,"Times New Roman",serif;"><span style="font-size: small;"></span></div><div style="font-family: Georgia,"Times New Roman",serif;"><span style="font-size: small;">Love,</span></div><div style="font-family: Georgia,"Times New Roman",serif;"><span style="font-size: small;"><br />
</span></div><div style="font-family: Georgia,"Times New Roman",serif;"><span style="font-size: small;">I Do Expert</span></div>I Do Experthttp://www.blogger.com/profile/17352826686002485647noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-184177069893917730.post-40023891728194680272010-08-10T17:10:00.001-04:002010-08-10T18:06:25.572-04:00Father Knows Best<meta content="text/html; charset=utf-8" http-equiv="Content-Type"></meta><meta content="Word.Document" name="ProgId"></meta><meta content="Microsoft Word 11" name="Generator"></meta><meta content="Microsoft Word 11" name="Originator"></meta><link href="file:///C:%5CDOCUME%7E1%5CKendrak%5CLOCALS%7E1%5CTemp%5Cmsohtml1%5C01%5Cclip_filelist.xml" rel="File-List"></link><style>
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<div class="MsoNormal">Most relationships develop over time. You learn to love your friends as family and trust your siblings with your deepest secrets, but the relationship between parent and child has a unique dynamic that you are literally born into. </div><div class="MsoNormal"><br />
</div><div class="MsoNormal">It is amazing to see my friends become parents. They have all told me that they didn’t know they could love someone so much. One of my friends recently posted on her Facebook that she loves her daughter more and more everyday. I was fortunate enough to grow up in a house where love, respect, trust and honesty were the foundation of my life. It is the job of a parent, I believe, to be brutally honest with their children, because if you cannot believe your parents’ honesty, who can you trust – especially in relationships. </div><div class="MsoNormal"><br />
</div><div class="MsoNormal">I was sitting at my desk one day when my phone rang. </div><div class="MsoNormal"><br />
</div><div class="MsoNormal">“Hello, I Do Expert, this is Mr. Roberts. I’m Barbie’s dad.”</div><div class="MsoNormal"><br />
</div><div class="MsoNormal">“Oh hello Mr. Roberts, I just spoke with Barbie and Ken. I am excited for our meeting in next week. The special day will be here before you know it!”</div><div class="MsoNormal"><br />
</div><div class="MsoNormal">“Right, that’s exactly what I wanted to talk to you about.” Mr. Roberts said in a very serious tone. </div><div class="MsoNormal"><br />
</div><div class="MsoNormal">Insert foot into your mouth, I thought to myself. The couple must have broken off the engagement and the father is calling me because poor Barbie is crying her eyes out at her Barbie Dream Townhouse. </div><div class="MsoNormal"><br />
</div><div class="MsoNormal">“Oh gosh, what can I do?” I said.</div><div class="MsoNormal"><br />
</div><div class="MsoNormal">“Well,” Mr. Roberts said, “How long do I have to break up this relationship and still get my money back?”</div><div class="MsoNormal"><br />
</div><div class="MsoNormal">Thankfully this part of our conversation was not in person, because I had to pick myself up off the floor. I remember Ken telling me how he asked for Mr. Robert’s permission to propose to Barbie on a dream getaway in their pink Winnebago that they travelled across the country in. </div><div class="MsoNormal"><br />
</div><div class="MsoNormal">How could this father give his blessing to a man proposing to his daughter, let her get engaged and then weeks later turn around and ask me, the wedding planner, how long he has to break off the engagement and still get his money back?</div><div class="MsoNormal"><br />
</div><div class="MsoNormal">I was flabbergasted and speechless, both adjectives I never thought I would use to describe myself. I finally pulled myself together after what seemed like minutes of crickets chirping and tumbleweeds blowing across my brain. </div><div class="MsoNormal"><br />
</div><div class="MsoNormal">“Excuse me. I think the phone cut out. Did you ask me how long you had to break off the engagement in order to get your money back?”</div><div class="MsoNormal"><br />
</div><div class="MsoNormal">“Yep, I sure did.” Mr. Roberts said. </div><div class="MsoNormal"><br />
</div><div class="MsoNormal">“Well, I guess that the sooner the better. All of the deposits that have been made to vendors are only refundable if they are able to rebook the date to another couple, which at this point is likely since we are a year out, but a decision needs to be made soon.”</div><div class="MsoNormal"><br />
</div><div class="MsoNormal">I could hear him typing on the other end of the line. “Can I come into your office?” he said abruptly.</div><div class="MsoNormal"><br />
</div><div class="MsoNormal">“Certainly, I said – I am here all afternoon, come on in.”</div><div class="MsoNormal"><br />
</div><div class="MsoNormal">About 15 minutes later Mr. Roberts came to my office. I escorted him in and showed him to a large comfortable chair, I took the matching chair across from him. </div><div class="MsoNormal"><br />
</div><div class="MsoNormal">After getting him a glass of water I said “I know it may not be any of my business, but did something happen? Is Barbie okay?” </div><div class="MsoNormal"><br />
</div><div class="MsoNormal">“Oh she’s fine. I just don’t like that Ken Carson she is engaged to, he is such a dope. I worry he will never do anything with his life except for continuing to be a model. My Barbie has so many ambitions, she wants to be a vet, a teacher, an astronaut, a baby doctor, a ballroom dancer, a snowboarder, the lead of a rock band, a race car driver…the sky is the limit with Barbie – she can be anything she wants to be, but I feel like Ken is dragging her down. They have been dating since grade school, and I want her to experience life without Ken.”</div><div class="MsoNormal"><br />
</div><div class="MsoNormal">Mr. Roberts and I spoke for a while about Barbie, Ken, relationships, friends and life. He loved Ken. He knew that Ken was a good man and would make sure that every dream, wish and whim that Barbie had would be taken care of. He knew deep in his heart that Barbie would have a very full life. Barbie is the oldest of the Roberts kids. Mr. Roberts was blessed with all girls, five of them! This was the first time he was “giving his daughter away,” and that act is one of the most difficult for fathers around the world. </div><div class="MsoNormal"><br />
</div><div class="MsoNormal">A week later, I met with Barbie, Ken and her parents. Ken and Mr. Roberts are all buddy-buddy, sharing jokes and pats on the back. I don’t remember much about the rest of the planning because it was easy, elegant and fun – there were no fights and there weren’t any meltdowns. The wedding was beautiful and so was the bride. </div><div class="MsoNormal"><br />
</div><div class="MsoNormal">I think my afternoon with Mr. Roberts was a culmination of stress, worry, caring, and love for his daughter. It is a delicate dance that fathers and daughters do throughout life. Fathers are the men that we love and we trust from the beginning. They are the guys we call when we have a flat tire or a leaky pipe, but when those phone calls stop, it has to be awfully hard for a dad. </div><div class="MsoNormal"><br />
</div><div class="MsoNormal">But I do think of her often and hope that she is happy. I hope that her life is filled with love and laughter. I hope that her relationship with her father is as strong as ever. </div><div class="MsoNormal"><br />
</div><div class="MsoNormal">The week after the wedding, I did get a very large flower arrangement and kind letter from Barbie’s father thanking me for <b>everything</b> I did for him and his daughter. I would encourage anyone thinking of being a wedding planner to also take a few psychology classes, some comfortable chairs in your office and a healthy supply of boxed Kleenex.</div><div class="MsoNormal"><br />
</div><div class="MsoNormal">Until next time!</div><div class="MsoNormal"><br />
</div><div class="MsoNormal">Love,</div><div class="MsoNormal">I Do Expert</div>I Do Experthttp://www.blogger.com/profile/17352826686002485647noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-184177069893917730.post-16521068850082411792010-07-28T14:06:00.000-04:002010-07-28T14:06:14.283-04:00Let Them Eat Cake!<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"></div><meta content="text/html; charset=utf-8" http-equiv="Content-Type"></meta><meta content="Word.Document" name="ProgId"></meta><meta content="Microsoft Word 11" name="Generator"></meta><meta content="Microsoft Word 11" name="Originator"></meta><link href="file:///C:%5CDOCUME%7E1%5CKendrak%5CLOCALS%7E1%5CTemp%5Cmsohtml1%5C01%5Cclip_filelist.xml" rel="File-List"></link><style>
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<div class="MsoNormal"><span style="font-family: Tahoma;">I have been doing some thinking about cake toppers after a recent incident at a wedding a few weeks ago. <o:p></o:p></span></div><div class="MsoNormal"><br />
</div><div class="MsoNormal"><span style="font-family: Tahoma;">Maggie was a very nice bride. She had a wedding and reception that was just her style, simple and on budget. The bride and groom were very in love. Planning with them was a breeze and their families got along great. This was a great match and beautiful event. <o:p></o:p></span></div><div class="MsoNormal"><br />
</div><div class="MsoNormal"><span style="font-family: Tahoma;">There was really nothing to tell you all about her until I saw it. I was doing a final check on the room before letting Maggie and her husband into the room. I walked by their five tier cake and had to do a double take. Both the bride and groom are white, but sitting on top of the cake was a white groom and Hispanic bride. I went to talk to the caterers to see if they placed the cake topper, which they had not done. <o:p></o:p></span></div><div class="MsoNormal"><br />
</div><div class="MsoNormal"><span style="font-family: Tahoma;">So it was moment of truth time, I mean it isn’t like the bride wouldn’t notice that on top of her cake is tiny Hispanic woman looking lovingly into the eyes of her handsome Caucasian groom. I knock on the door of the room that Melissa was waiting in before the wedding ceremony began.<o:p></o:p></span></div><div class="MsoNormal"><br />
</div><div class="MsoNormal"><span style="font-family: Tahoma;">“Um, hi Melissa, can I talk to you for a minute?”</span><br />
<br />
<span style="font-family: Tahoma;"></span><br />
<span style="font-family: Tahoma;"><o:p></o:p></span></div><div class="MsoNormal"><span style="font-family: Tahoma;">“Sure!” she said.</span><br />
<br />
<span style="font-family: Tahoma;"></span><br />
<span style="font-family: Tahoma;"><o:p></o:p></span></div><div class="MsoNormal"><span style="font-family: Tahoma;">“I think we might have a little mix up that I wanted to talk to you about. We have time to make the correction, but I thought I should let you know. The cake toppers are wrong, I have one of my staff people headed out to the store now to get a new one.”</span><br />
<br />
<span style="font-family: Tahoma;"></span><br />
<span style="font-family: Tahoma;"><o:p></o:p></span></div><div class="MsoNormal"><span style="font-family: Tahoma;">“What do you mean they are wrong?” she huffed.</span><br />
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<span style="font-family: Tahoma;"></span><br />
<span style="font-family: Tahoma;"><o:p></o:p></span></div><div class="MsoNormal"><span style="font-family: Tahoma;">“I know, I’m so sorry I just noticed. The groom is fine, but the bride is Hispanic on your cake.”</span><br />
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<span style="font-family: Tahoma;"><o:p></o:p></span></div><div class="MsoNormal"><span style="font-family: Tahoma;">“Oh that!” she laughed “When I was at the craft store buying them, I grabbed the wrong one and I didn’t feel like returning it. I thought she looked like me with a tan.”<o:p></o:p></span></div><div class="MsoNormal"><br />
</div><div class="MsoNormal"><span style="font-family: Tahoma;">I have to say I was a little speechless. I honestly couldn’t believe that she didn’t just pay the $10.99 to get a correct representation of herself on her wedding cake, but, to each her own, right?<o:p></o:p></span></div><div class="MsoNormal"><br />
</div><div class="MsoNormal"><span style="font-family: Tahoma;">This got me thinking about all of the different cake toppers I have seen in my life as a wedding planner. I don’t think that you would believe me, so I have copied a few pictures for you to see the many different options for brides and grooms to choose from. There are so many beautiful, elegant and classic toppers out there, but there must obviously be a need for these, because they are mass produced! I guess I take love too seriously, but I just would never want some of these adorning the top of my wedding cake, and some of the others, I just don't understand. I will admit that I did chuckle when I saw some of the pictures below, but really, on your wedding cake, in photos that are supposed to last forever. Let me know what you think and please feel free to add funny cake toppers you have seen too!</span></div><div class="MsoNormal"><br />
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<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjhrsSVSbNJMoiasol22f2NtSf2SMkOjJQrOreYQ0ne1Q86KqnRrZh2zl6wi4hQhU_E11YNi2JPl-GO8zhvqk_a7FMQosFq_ziKwq4hXR3NGI-dPVvzUk-YR-0XXvYyR7FNdXDLIewtL6Q/s1600/LEGOMinilandWeddingCakeToppers.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" height="320" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjhrsSVSbNJMoiasol22f2NtSf2SMkOjJQrOreYQ0ne1Q86KqnRrZh2zl6wi4hQhU_E11YNi2JPl-GO8zhvqk_a7FMQosFq_ziKwq4hXR3NGI-dPVvzUk-YR-0XXvYyR7FNdXDLIewtL6Q/s320/LEGOMinilandWeddingCakeToppers.jpg" width="312" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">Cute and different, if you are into Legos. At least this company is keeping it tasteful, just a little nerdy. I give it two thumbs up for being different, classy, creative and true to themselves.</td></tr>
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<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiVczGw5WBgAsOnhu9ddl0Nqs7WWSuzUE6XKIwSwr0KEIfCdbDPDhT9b2e1auVRxY3OE5qXezMVk9OgA1mjhgZ6nNjWNRQbb_pdQJFGM_1DSWDay_nYMRRc7U17ADc8tHSUv_Pjpi2xp3k/s1600/d49e48e913036c4e_romantic-kissing-couple-wedding-cake-toppers-02.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" height="200" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiVczGw5WBgAsOnhu9ddl0Nqs7WWSuzUE6XKIwSwr0KEIfCdbDPDhT9b2e1auVRxY3OE5qXezMVk9OgA1mjhgZ6nNjWNRQbb_pdQJFGM_1DSWDay_nYMRRc7U17ADc8tHSUv_Pjpi2xp3k/s200/d49e48e913036c4e_romantic-kissing-couple-wedding-cake-toppers-02.jpg" width="190" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">Do I need to remind you that your mother, father, grandparents and children are in the room. Give me the benefit of the doubt that I know you plan on consummating your marriage tonight, but can you not do "it" ON the cake??</td></tr>
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<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgc4UzQ_jhZRWCD0rK4DV9WFFgiwj9QLyy42Fn5jRelVVNgpUO186Eosp_PY5LvCZEOXEGd2Md6D2C8vtr3gpzNoLMnx_MvgFfDIPPlNZciM5Ct_hU2TERgm_bM33Hb2P35SUKuG_uLKF4/s1600/funny_cake_top.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" height="254" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgc4UzQ_jhZRWCD0rK4DV9WFFgiwj9QLyy42Fn5jRelVVNgpUO186Eosp_PY5LvCZEOXEGd2Md6D2C8vtr3gpzNoLMnx_MvgFfDIPPlNZciM5Ct_hU2TERgm_bM33Hb2P35SUKuG_uLKF4/s320/funny_cake_top.jpg" width="320" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">I absolutely hate these cake toppers and anything else that is similar to this where the woman is dragging the man to the alter. It is creepy and degrading to women I think. Not all women are so desperate to get married that they drag someone to the church.</td></tr>
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<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgZfq7XtyeSVZMRjtiO0bsGkQQat77skrXbd2Q2iSSHvzqySeOuH5sjqAxU97sJAhA1SjCr3zyZAj3jS7AkUc02WOVBkkP3gPTfgB5QONdOywAW4qftFvvCqj52-FFvf0_9cFUX7tqht80/s1600/mermice-wedding-cake-toppers.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgZfq7XtyeSVZMRjtiO0bsGkQQat77skrXbd2Q2iSSHvzqySeOuH5sjqAxU97sJAhA1SjCr3zyZAj3jS7AkUc02WOVBkkP3gPTfgB5QONdOywAW4qftFvvCqj52-FFvf0_9cFUX7tqht80/s320/mermice-wedding-cake-toppers.jpg" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">Really? Mermaid Mice. Really? Again people these are mass produced with a price tag of over $30! Wow!</td></tr>
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<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiP7_Exjk8AHF9BHuEwQ_S7CRD9BN3cvIkqU8zGkQiqlrVbH35Z3LmCV176L9gtPMC0rsyIzMwZmveMmtB4AEtlF15R0IURv8wtXROgR8dr6K01h1nF2LXmH4_0wXDG3qelbTiSmANVy7w/s1600/funnyweddingcaketoppersw.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiP7_Exjk8AHF9BHuEwQ_S7CRD9BN3cvIkqU8zGkQiqlrVbH35Z3LmCV176L9gtPMC0rsyIzMwZmveMmtB4AEtlF15R0IURv8wtXROgR8dr6K01h1nF2LXmH4_0wXDG3qelbTiSmANVy7w/s320/funnyweddingcaketoppersw.jpg" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">So, aren't spies not supposed to tell you they are spies? Maybe this is their way of sharing secrets with friends and family. "My job as a data processor is going well Uncle Sal." Hint, Hint, Nudge, Nudge, Wink, Wink.</td></tr>
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<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEi0dfMMBhgZ5qu_slAR-pJQ3L6nNFVzbEpkJeNj4zU4kFZFYf8FIIfY42DeCpQHvfktf5dus20REqUEOlwmD0B4_k4JNpcp2Um25lZaiyropBjkEpwEqLq-KNj4FlenSwYdFe68-Vu4k6M/s1600/funnyweddingcaketoppersf.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEi0dfMMBhgZ5qu_slAR-pJQ3L6nNFVzbEpkJeNj4zU4kFZFYf8FIIfY42DeCpQHvfktf5dus20REqUEOlwmD0B4_k4JNpcp2Um25lZaiyropBjkEpwEqLq-KNj4FlenSwYdFe68-Vu4k6M/s320/funnyweddingcaketoppersf.jpg" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">Seriously. </td></tr>
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<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEj_zinXYyN1M0GnL6-e2c93dGlaAyWzc9TORiFuYA-hZq5k0fArrz27OHI4WNF-EDBb8F4dauomhETD51jGYQdAmYBnpyS39GoppOnt30nmjLY9zXjrzNm6mW8rM6BUxUFdhGqO2kZcGoM/s1600/funnyweddingcaketoppers.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEj_zinXYyN1M0GnL6-e2c93dGlaAyWzc9TORiFuYA-hZq5k0fArrz27OHI4WNF-EDBb8F4dauomhETD51jGYQdAmYBnpyS39GoppOnt30nmjLY9zXjrzNm6mW8rM6BUxUFdhGqO2kZcGoM/s320/funnyweddingcaketoppers.jpg" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">Really? This is what you choose to be on top of your wedding cake.</td></tr>
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<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEh00vLC_qgcc6r1G-8-V2B9x1ytJIUPwOVwiPJdnZz4R9pplmMYtiXwYXJyO6px_hZ_MI8ZalOzFqtLnMl_nXZu6_CPfKOYsJ6gAkIPXEO9jkye91aHi9SQMGbBYnybGiRwtDkS-esmJIA/s1600/lens4823192_1248885736wedding_cake_toppers.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEh00vLC_qgcc6r1G-8-V2B9x1ytJIUPwOVwiPJdnZz4R9pplmMYtiXwYXJyO6px_hZ_MI8ZalOzFqtLnMl_nXZu6_CPfKOYsJ6gAkIPXEO9jkye91aHi9SQMGbBYnybGiRwtDkS-esmJIA/s320/lens4823192_1248885736wedding_cake_toppers.jpg" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">It is unfortunate the number of the butt grabbing toppers, it was hard for me to choose just one, so I have shared two with you. </td></tr>
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<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjhZ1iW3OigpHyT9RMNO0YegsOy5VMgia8028aaus92DiwWQt4ykYXXRBn-mU3ViDkhh0FcQn6VkuftISrtP-ZH1dPlPUXuMEwb6vrxlArZUfWn5krghv03A5Fe2ei_OC-5tGf7DR0vY5Q/s1600/weddingcake.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjhZ1iW3OigpHyT9RMNO0YegsOy5VMgia8028aaus92DiwWQt4ykYXXRBn-mU3ViDkhh0FcQn6VkuftISrtP-ZH1dPlPUXuMEwb6vrxlArZUfWn5krghv03A5Fe2ei_OC-5tGf7DR0vY5Q/s320/weddingcake.jpg" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">Ok, maybe I don't get the European Humor here, but do I need to remind you that your mothers, fathers and grandparents are here. I would be so embarrassed.</td></tr>
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<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEizSzQ-QFZtdpcP0PTRpGivf1pOz5ewbvR4fJvS-PFC7F_8jLzsFKHR94FmpbEL2HibaWfPVkqmcfXOhGRX0IUAsi_7mg_H_0MIFrXz_SMUkdJ_5ZpHT1TS73nmKGZcknC4GdLz7dP2JEk/s1600/stripper-cake-topper.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEizSzQ-QFZtdpcP0PTRpGivf1pOz5ewbvR4fJvS-PFC7F_8jLzsFKHR94FmpbEL2HibaWfPVkqmcfXOhGRX0IUAsi_7mg_H_0MIFrXz_SMUkdJ_5ZpHT1TS73nmKGZcknC4GdLz7dP2JEk/s320/stripper-cake-topper.jpg" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">This one was actually called "Groom and Stripper." Who are you Stu from "The Hangover." Are you so excited that you married a stripped that you put it on your cake? Again, I would have to pass on the cake, especially if the strip club where they met was doing the catering.</td></tr>
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<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEigbrDpfi7VjvpnqVoHuO4O3s_AKaF92BLvETYNMB42EZvJeqCrLk7A-EE4a8a8LpnEFnIJ_mm_wIn5HlAdcHiYRA4z91ViuFww_XhNnNt_hCzvG4r-ap-65wgwPyBQl0KUDij7iw67f10/s1600/Funniest_Wedding_Cake_Toppers_14.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEigbrDpfi7VjvpnqVoHuO4O3s_AKaF92BLvETYNMB42EZvJeqCrLk7A-EE4a8a8LpnEFnIJ_mm_wIn5HlAdcHiYRA4z91ViuFww_XhNnNt_hCzvG4r-ap-65wgwPyBQl0KUDij7iw67f10/s320/Funniest_Wedding_Cake_Toppers_14.jpg" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">I almost didn't include this because I didn't quite "get it," but on closer examination, I do believe that it is the bride and groom on top with chainsaws chopping up the men and women trying to get to the top. And if you look closer, there are actual blood splatters on the cake. I would not have been able to choke down a piece of that cake.</td></tr>
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<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjZTI2e6Zi5EpuwMuR_bW9ymwqMjQ1SQTlFaLVUgdCrK7M8xqUH_Y30gDUipX4DrHEQytgR0x4X476L4lttzpVTR2yJEGJENInthontsi3QDnfeWYrc0x9B5vdmVM2mlhuKfMEeham_ky0/s1600/1006-7143-ball-chain-cake-topper.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjZTI2e6Zi5EpuwMuR_bW9ymwqMjQ1SQTlFaLVUgdCrK7M8xqUH_Y30gDUipX4DrHEQytgR0x4X476L4lttzpVTR2yJEGJENInthontsi3QDnfeWYrc0x9B5vdmVM2mlhuKfMEeham_ky0/s320/1006-7143-ball-chain-cake-topper.jpg" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">Oh I get it, the old ball and chain bit, but really? Nothing like starting your life off together on a positive note right?</td></tr>
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<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEj6DbFG8dyTCOYS9XOxLhGMx4oH8rX_t4T58apg7kocm0oCBAu2neGtHr7fcfFO_L-11cVfJYkD6bptqTkNWgSkCJqSbfyZIWUSBLqUNtTWeNOf62B9m0JE7hO2xt8n4bjJYN_Xrc7NAzc/s1600/hunting_wedding-cake-toppers2.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEj6DbFG8dyTCOYS9XOxLhGMx4oH8rX_t4T58apg7kocm0oCBAu2neGtHr7fcfFO_L-11cVfJYkD6bptqTkNWgSkCJqSbfyZIWUSBLqUNtTWeNOf62B9m0JE7hO2xt8n4bjJYN_Xrc7NAzc/s320/hunting_wedding-cake-toppers2.jpg" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">Yes, you are correct, that is a bride, groom and deer on the top of the cake. She is a very proud supporter of her man's huntin' skeeels.</td></tr>
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<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjE43sI_aE2RaXojPODuTmTGbXYRXx25pXEw_xwE3_KEujDNz6Ld4n5qBDZQmg9VxqsHV7pqDNsU2icXOkhHRBWUOserNOF-4JbHC13mW921VbO1jeI6e95xv74qUDl4ycGf90uDXj9kHo/s1600/1006-7142-funny-cake-topper.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" height="200" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjE43sI_aE2RaXojPODuTmTGbXYRXx25pXEw_xwE3_KEujDNz6Ld4n5qBDZQmg9VxqsHV7pqDNsU2icXOkhHRBWUOserNOF-4JbHC13mW921VbO1jeI6e95xv74qUDl4ycGf90uDXj9kHo/s200/1006-7142-funny-cake-topper.jpg" width="200" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">Is he stopping her from running away or trying to trip her - either way, is that funny? </td></tr>
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<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEg_FyYK83AFrk5kO1dXAZ9GR5bN_iWAYT-vhmJjuZQeAJeFy6M20etL3Z9aBNvQNgujcOBoXS-a8wK4xq5fanI7S_p9SEhlHcWQjL7milZJnPk9AHDWDfU9S74eHQC2vulud0L27xw_h60/s1600/funnyweddingcaketoppersg.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEg_FyYK83AFrk5kO1dXAZ9GR5bN_iWAYT-vhmJjuZQeAJeFy6M20etL3Z9aBNvQNgujcOBoXS-a8wK4xq5fanI7S_p9SEhlHcWQjL7milZJnPk9AHDWDfU9S74eHQC2vulud0L27xw_h60/s320/funnyweddingcaketoppersg.jpg" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">I guess this is the reverse of the topper above - the run away groom? Stay Classy!</td></tr>
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<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiKOBj_YU8aD3-svHbzzgq34RoY4i4MT7hwc0mwjN-yWJmzpTVn1_tHob3uRnTE3RV8NE2-lnFv8fnRDAyJAH4EdD9wDFqj26E2DItPLVTZa5kYfjr9SZ-SjaWesT7Q8fAuhGzEAWM3cCE/s1600/shotgun-wedding-bride-groom-cake-topper-gun.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" height="200" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiKOBj_YU8aD3-svHbzzgq34RoY4i4MT7hwc0mwjN-yWJmzpTVn1_tHob3uRnTE3RV8NE2-lnFv8fnRDAyJAH4EdD9wDFqj26E2DItPLVTZa5kYfjr9SZ-SjaWesT7Q8fAuhGzEAWM3cCE/s200/shotgun-wedding-bride-groom-cake-topper-gun.jpg" width="195" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">Marry me, or else!?! Wow, nothing screams "we are in love" like a shotgun wedding.</td></tr>
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<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgOUU01TAk7KuJhZwCDNYxBju5ZLKqDfiVyxV_dbF-poVZJuU5HcZqxllxeVXoQX6p3747U2iWLyMWO4RQ-v7a0V0JxLMYaPV42K45Z93ApigjOLaSVErw4jVp5CVW8iSz2O3YEjzdsSOs/s1600/wedding-cake-topper-03.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" height="200" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgOUU01TAk7KuJhZwCDNYxBju5ZLKqDfiVyxV_dbF-poVZJuU5HcZqxllxeVXoQX6p3747U2iWLyMWO4RQ-v7a0V0JxLMYaPV42K45Z93ApigjOLaSVErw4jVp5CVW8iSz2O3YEjzdsSOs/s200/wedding-cake-topper-03.jpg" width="166" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">"Hey Babe, It's me. Can't wait to get Married. I'll call you right back I'm getting another call"</td><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;"><br />
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<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjec1f7RyizkVQT_lqjlJu2H4X_4YkUmfSBJHlxCyxe94hSZYjfuQsrzxt8DCCkT-YFwL76Xz8HbG_26zUFe-qPb63q17Hcy0Ro4YVyaWYbQEzZQMaG-vY6WKITbCqOAYngOXgXGMcwOF0/s1600/horse.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjec1f7RyizkVQT_lqjlJu2H4X_4YkUmfSBJHlxCyxe94hSZYjfuQsrzxt8DCCkT-YFwL76Xz8HbG_26zUFe-qPb63q17Hcy0Ro4YVyaWYbQEzZQMaG-vY6WKITbCqOAYngOXgXGMcwOF0/s320/horse.jpg" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">You do not need to have your eyes checked. Those are two horses cuddling. This was one of over 100 "animal themed" cake toppers ranging from cuddling animals, like above, to animals kissing to animals doing things that shouldn't be displayed anywhere except for on the National Geographic channel. Weird!</td></tr>
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<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhgmRP02m65OLTcOOEVdHNJOKaCq_yZZOXaYMTrpSfzxT4U_2MNhoR67u6vd38Qy3l41VhHRX95TQPU6dwknwLkDYY3NbVkZsWv70IYUDGExJsa5e6O77CzS7cQFjmcn2316-oN733IP5s/s1600/skeleton+wedding+cake+topper.JPG" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhgmRP02m65OLTcOOEVdHNJOKaCq_yZZOXaYMTrpSfzxT4U_2MNhoR67u6vd38Qy3l41VhHRX95TQPU6dwknwLkDYY3NbVkZsWv70IYUDGExJsa5e6O77CzS7cQFjmcn2316-oN733IP5s/s320/skeleton+wedding+cake+topper.JPG" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">"For Better or Worse, In Sickness and in Health, Til Death Do is Part."</td></tr>
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<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgHz9rUjfSq8GC06v7W_VF-Mwcn2hRp2K_-_OydvvDxzpQCNbfebgmm7ZHcIMXpc5XuTuPqfDdf-kNMO4JtGfRvIl6ddU5GbXpR2V6wEyWXOZtD573kuaF8tgoICig3pGOyLsf-CkXXLAw/s1600/MostHilariousWeddingCakeEver.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgHz9rUjfSq8GC06v7W_VF-Mwcn2hRp2K_-_OydvvDxzpQCNbfebgmm7ZHcIMXpc5XuTuPqfDdf-kNMO4JtGfRvIl6ddU5GbXpR2V6wEyWXOZtD573kuaF8tgoICig3pGOyLsf-CkXXLAw/s320/MostHilariousWeddingCakeEver.jpg" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">I have no words. </td></tr>
</tbody></table><div class="MsoNormal"><span style="font-family: Tahoma;"> I think that somethings can really set the mood for the future of a marriage, and the cake is most certainly one of them!</span></div><div class="MsoNormal"><span style="font-family: Tahoma;"><br />
</span></div><div class="MsoNormal"><span style="font-family: Tahoma;">xoxoxo,</span></div><div class="MsoNormal"><span style="font-family: Tahoma;">I Do Expert</span></div><div class="MsoNormal"><span style="font-family: Tahoma;"></span></div><div class="MsoNormal"><span style="font-family: Tahoma;"><o:p></o:p></span></div>I Do Experthttp://www.blogger.com/profile/17352826686002485647noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-184177069893917730.post-4183702307642215562010-07-17T14:43:00.000-04:002010-07-17T14:43:56.348-04:00We Are Family!<meta content="text/html; charset=utf-8" http-equiv="Content-Type"></meta><meta content="Word.Document" name="ProgId"></meta><meta content="Microsoft Word 11" name="Generator"></meta><meta content="Microsoft Word 11" name="Originator"></meta><link href="file:///C:%5CDOCUME%7E1%5CKendrak%5CLOCALS%7E1%5CTemp%5Cmsohtml1%5C01%5Cclip_filelist.xml" rel="File-List"></link><style>
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<div class="MsoNormal" style="font-family: Georgia,"Times New Roman",serif;">Have you ever heard that song “We are Family” by Sister Sledge? Probably if you have ever been to a wedding reception in your life, you have heard it at least once, which is why it is on my ever growing list of songs that will absolutely not be played at my wedding reception when that day comes). Sing it with me now….. “We are fam-a-lee! I got all my sisters with me. We are fam-a-lee! Get up every body and SING!”<o:p></o:p></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="font-family: Georgia,"Times New Roman",serif;"><br />
</div><div class="MsoNormal" style="font-family: Georgia,"Times New Roman",serif;">Well when I met Stacy and Robert, I was in for a huge surprise about their families. So meeting with the two of them, was pretty typical. They wanted a platinum wedding on a bargain basement price, but there so so much one can do to make a wedding spectacular and still remain within a budget. I can get pretty creative. I put Stacy and Robert in touch with the I Do Decorator (we wedding professional have to stick together!). <o:p></o:p></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="font-family: Georgia,"Times New Roman",serif;"><br />
</div><div class="MsoNormal" style="font-family: Georgia,"Times New Roman",serif;">Stacy called me and said that rentals are far to expensive, she can buy floor length linens, chair covers and sashes for 350 guests off of eBay much cheaper than she can rent them. I expressed my concern with doing that, as any good wedding planner should. Not because I want her to do business with my friend, but because so much goes into preparing linens for an event and sometimes quality can be questionable when you buy a thirteen cent floor length linen. I asked her to please consider the cost to have everything pressed, cleaned, delivered and placed versus the cost to rent them and have someone else doing the placing of the linens. She was still convinced that the discount linens were the best option. I reminded her that the reception hall provided linens, so maybe she should use the reception hall white, lap length linens and spend the money on buying floor length white polyester linens on something different to accent the table. Nope! Floor length, white polyester linens from eBay it is!<o:p></o:p></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="font-family: Georgia,"Times New Roman",serif;"><br />
</div><div class="MsoNormal" style="font-family: Georgia,"Times New Roman",serif;"></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="font-family: Georgia,"Times New Roman",serif;">Stacy also believed that she had seen enough pictures and reality shows about weddings that she could make all of the flower arrangements and bouquets. Again, I expressed my concern that it may be worth spending a little more money on having bouquets created by a professional in order to alleviate some of the stress and timeliness that comes along with working with fresh flowers. So she decided to order flowers, exotic ones of course, from Discount Bob’s Floral Emporium online. <o:p></o:p></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="font-family: Georgia,"Times New Roman",serif;"><br />
</div><div class="MsoNormal" style="font-family: Georgia,"Times New Roman",serif;"></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="font-family: Georgia,"Times New Roman",serif;">So finally the big day rolls around. It is the day before the ceremony and reception; I meet Stacy and Robert, along with a dozen friends ready to help with the setting up of linens for the reception. <o:p></o:p></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="font-family: Georgia,"Times New Roman",serif;"><br />
</div><div class="MsoNormal" style="font-family: Georgia,"Times New Roman",serif;">She has everyone unloading the boxes of linens and chair covers from the truck she rented to get everything to the reception hall in. Finally, the moment everyone had been waiting for….drum roll please…………the first linen is pulled from the box (which means she didn’t have them cleaned or pressed, just took the word from someone on eBay that they were clean just like buying a pair of underwear and not washing them before the first wear; just because the tags are on them doesn’t make them clean!). She fluffed it out and it landed on the table perfectly, at a lap length. It was most certainly not floor length. She tried another…..lap length. Her maid of honor tried one, because “maybe the bride was doing it wrong” (P.S. How does one incorrectly put a table cloth on a round table?) And to Maid of Honor’s surprise and shock…it was lap length. </div><div class="MsoNormal" style="font-family: Georgia,"Times New Roman",serif;"><br />
</div><div class="MsoNormal" style="font-family: Georgia,"Times New Roman",serif;">The profanities were flowing out of the bride’s mouth as quickly as the tears were rolling down her cheeks. She couldn’t believe how the person on eBay “scammed” her and that she needed to get to a computer immediately to report the seller to the internet auction giant. </div><div class="MsoNormal" style="font-family: Georgia,"Times New Roman",serif;"><br />
</div><div class="MsoNormal" style="font-family: Georgia,"Times New Roman",serif;">The I Do Decorator was there decorating the ceiling for the bride. We had been exchanging glances through out the whole debacle. I Do Decorator said</div><div class="MsoNormal" style="font-family: Georgia,"Times New Roman",serif;"><br />
</div><div class="MsoNormal" style="font-family: Georgia,"Times New Roman",serif;">“Stacy, what size did it say that the linens were in the description on eBay?”</div><div class="MsoNormal" style="font-family: Georgia,"Times New Roman",serif;"><br />
</div><div class="MsoNormal" style="font-family: Georgia,"Times New Roman",serif;">“90 inches” the bride-to-be huffed.</div><div class="MsoNormal" style="font-family: Georgia,"Times New Roman",serif;"><br />
</div><div class="MsoNormal" style="font-family: Georgia,"Times New Roman",serif;">“Well, 90 inches are lap length linens on the tables here, that is why I Do Expert and I kept encouraging you to ask us before buying linens.”</div><div class="MsoNormal" style="font-family: Georgia,"Times New Roman",serif;"><br />
</div><div class="MsoNormal" style="font-family: Georgia,"Times New Roman",serif;">“But in the picture they were floor-length” she whined. “I’m suing eBay for deceiving me!!” </div><div class="MsoNormal" style="font-family: Georgia,"Times New Roman",serif;"><br />
</div><div class="MsoNormal" style="font-family: Georgia,"Times New Roman",serif;">Good luck with that, I thought. I can see it now, Silly Bride who didn’t listen to any of the experts giving her advice vs. eBay. I don’t think Stacy would be happy with the outcome. </div><div class="MsoNormal" style="font-family: Georgia,"Times New Roman",serif;"><br />
</div><div class="MsoNormal" style="font-family: Georgia,"Times New Roman",serif;">Pushing my desire to dance around the room singing “I told you so” aside, I got the distressed bride back on track. We finally finished placing all 38 special ordered linens and all 304 chair covers on and the room was coming together. It was time for the I Do Decorator to do her magic and finish the décor in the room. </div><div class="MsoNormal" style="font-family: Georgia,"Times New Roman",serif;"><br />
</div><div class="MsoNormal" style="font-family: Georgia,"Times New Roman",serif;">When in doubt with linen sizes, trust the professionals you have hired and who work with these things everyday. </div><div class="MsoNormal" style="font-family: Georgia,"Times New Roman",serif;"><br />
</div><div class="MsoNormal" style="font-family: Georgia,"Times New Roman",serif;"></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="font-family: Georgia,"Times New Roman",serif;">It was now two in the afternoon. We decided to take a lunch break. I declined Stacy’s invitation to join her and her group for lunch. I wanted to go to the nearest watering hole and have some cocktails, but deciding that it would be considered slightly unprofessional to show up for the bouquet making with Stacy and the catastrophe that followed her, I went for the next best thing, a venti caramel Frappuccino. </div><div class="MsoNormal" style="font-family: Georgia,"Times New Roman",serif;"><br />
</div><div class="MsoNormal" style="font-family: Georgia,"Times New Roman",serif;">When we met for bouquet making, I waited and waited and waited. I checked my calendar to make sure I was in the right place, and I was. I waited another five minutes and then called Stacy. </div><div class="MsoNormal" style="font-family: Georgia,"Times New Roman",serif;"><br />
</div><div class="MsoNormal" style="font-family: Georgia,"Times New Roman",serif;">She picked up the call and all I heard was more sobbing and sniffles. Surprisingly the flowers from Discount Bob’s weren’t going to be here until next Saturday. Since, I was alone at the reception site, I did begin dancing my “I told you so!” dance while saying “Oh, I believe you that the fake roses you got from the Dollar Store’s 50% off bin look just like real flowers.” Stacy decided that instead of taking the time to make bouquets for herself and the bridesmaids, they will each just carry one fake rose from the discount bin at the Dollar Store.</div><div class="MsoNormal" style="font-family: Georgia,"Times New Roman",serif;"><br />
</div><div class="MsoNormal" style="font-family: Georgia,"Times New Roman",serif;">Remember, do not buy your flowers (or anything for that matter) online from a place that specializes in offering discounts, but that doesn’t have an address or phone number and that never sends a tracking number for your shipment. Probably because they never shipped anything!!</div><div class="MsoNormal" style="font-family: Georgia,"Times New Roman",serif;"><br />
</div><div class="MsoNormal" style="font-family: Georgia,"Times New Roman",serif;">Finally, we are at the rehearsal. I have been given full reign over this part of the show. I asked Stacy to tell everyone to be at the ceremony site at 5:00pm even though we don’t anticipate starting the rehearsal until 5:30pm. Everyone was there by 5:30pm, well everyone except for the bride. She finally rolled in a few minutes after 6:00pm and we got started.</div><div class="MsoNormal" style="font-family: Georgia,"Times New Roman",serif;"><br />
</div><div class="MsoNormal" style="font-family: Georgia,"Times New Roman",serif;">“I need to get the mothers over here by me, along with the gentlemen who will be escorting them to their seats.” Suddenly I notice that about a half dozen women get up and begin to walk towards me. </div><div class="MsoNormal" style="font-family: Georgia,"Times New Roman",serif;"><br />
</div><div class="MsoNormal" style="font-family: Georgia,"Times New Roman",serif;">“Oh Sorry,” I said, “Just the mothers of the bride and groom, not all the mothers in the room.”</div><div class="MsoNormal" style="font-family: Georgia,"Times New Roman",serif;"><br />
</div><div class="MsoNormal" style="font-family: Georgia,"Times New Roman",serif;">“WE ARE!!!” they all seemed to snarl in unison. GREAT!!!!!!</div><div class="MsoNormal" style="font-family: Georgia,"Times New Roman",serif;"><br />
</div><div class="MsoNormal" style="font-family: Georgia,"Times New Roman",serif;">So the divorce rate in the United States is what like 50% now, so there have been a few divorces in the family, unfortunately that happens, and I have been trying not to judge people, so I just tried to go with the flow. </div><div class="MsoNormal" style="font-family: Georgia,"Times New Roman",serif;"><br />
</div><div class="MsoNormal" style="font-family: Georgia,"Times New Roman",serif;">“Okay, so I need to get all of the mothers of the groom here and all of the mothers of the bride here.” The masses of mothers split. Now, how does one delicately ask for the “real” mother?</div><div class="MsoNormal" style="font-family: Georgia,"Times New Roman",serif;"><br />
</div><div class="MsoNormal" style="font-family: Georgia,"Times New Roman",serif;">“I need you ladies to line up so that we have the MOTHER of each of the bride and groom last.” </div><div class="MsoNormal" style="font-family: Georgia,"Times New Roman",serif;"><br />
</div><div class="MsoNormal" style="font-family: Georgia,"Times New Roman",serif;">“What do you mean by mother? We are all the mothers! You are going to have to be specific.”</div><div class="MsoNormal" style="font-family: Georgia,"Times New Roman",serif;"><br />
</div><div class="MsoNormal" style="font-family: Georgia,"Times New Roman",serif;">Ok, so I see we are going to take the classy way out of this awkward situation. “I need to have the biological mothers of each of the bride and groom last in line, then you are going to line up in the order of marriage dates. After the biological mother, I want the step mother who was married to the bride and grooms father next.”</div><div class="MsoNormal" style="font-family: Georgia,"Times New Roman",serif;"><br />
</div><div class="MsoNormal" style="font-family: Georgia,"Times New Roman",serif;">Finally I got all of these women sorted out. I wish I could have made stickers for them, “Mother of the Bride,” “Mother of the Bride 2 & 4” Mother of the Bride 3” etc. </div><div class="MsoNormal" style="font-family: Georgia,"Times New Roman",serif;"><br />
</div><div class="MsoNormal" style="font-family: Georgia,"Times New Roman",serif;">We FINALLY made it through the rehearsal, and everyone (all seven mothers, four fathers, seven siblings, nine step siblings, and quite honestly I lost track of the number of grandparents in attendance) moved onto the rehearsal dinner. Again, I declined the kind offer to join this brigade of “family” to what I am sure was an awesome rehearsal dinner. Part of me did want to get to see who picked up the bill. But maybe it was every man for himself with the bill since they did rock things out on the classy end of things by going to an all you can eat, $8.99 per person, buffet. I, one the other hand, went home and had a drink. </div><div class="MsoNormal" style="font-family: Georgia,"Times New Roman",serif;"><br />
</div><div class="MsoNormal" style="font-family: Georgia,"Times New Roman",serif;">The big day was here, and everyone seemed to be in good spirits, well as good as it can be when most of the mothers don’t speak to one another. We start gathering for the ceremony processional. </div><div class="MsoNormal" style="font-family: Georgia,"Times New Roman",serif;"><br />
</div><div class="MsoNormal" style="font-family: Georgia,"Times New Roman",serif;">I had an intern with me for this event, who wanted to see what it was like to be a wedding planner, we will call her I Do Intern. Today, she is manages a five start restaurant. Honestly, I would have chosen that too after what was about the happen the night of this blissful matrimonial celebration. </div><div class="MsoNormal" style="font-family: Georgia,"Times New Roman",serif;"><br />
</div><div class="MsoNormal" style="font-family: Georgia,"Times New Roman",serif;">I charged the I Do Intern with rounding up the mothers while I worked on getting the bridal party members in place. Anytime I would pass her, she would say, “I am missing the mother of the groom in brown.” We would find said MOG and place her in her designated position. As soon as we would turn around, the woman was gone. I am not sure if she was channeling David Copperfield, but this woman was good!</div><div class="MsoNormal" style="font-family: Georgia,"Times New Roman",serif;"><br />
</div><div class="MsoNormal" style="font-family: Georgia,"Times New Roman",serif;">I found her outside smoking. “Ma’am you are going to need to come inside and stay in your position so that we can get started.” </div><div class="MsoNormal" style="font-family: Georgia,"Times New Roman",serif;"><br />
</div><div class="MsoNormal" style="font-family: Georgia,"Times New Roman",serif;">“Fine!” she shouted. </div><div class="MsoNormal" style="font-family: Georgia,"Times New Roman",serif;"><br />
</div><div class="MsoNormal" style="font-family: Georgia,"Times New Roman",serif;">“You will be in your seat in just a few minutes.” I said. She responded by shooting daggers at me with her eyes.</div><div class="MsoNormal" style="font-family: Georgia,"Times New Roman",serif;"><br />
</div><div class="MsoNormal" style="font-family: Georgia,"Times New Roman",serif;">“We are all here and accounted for!!” I Do Intern says with a proud smile. </div><div class="MsoNormal" style="font-family: Georgia,"Times New Roman",serif;"><br />
</div><div class="MsoNormal" style="font-family: Georgia,"Times New Roman",serif;">“Ladies! Gentlemen! We are ready to start!” I say in my best cheerleading voice to get everyone excited.</div><div class="MsoNormal" style="font-family: Georgia,"Times New Roman",serif;"><br />
</div><div class="MsoNormal" style="font-family: Georgia,"Times New Roman",serif;">“Where’s! My! Purse!” I heard someone shouting. I look over and it is Mother of the Groom in Brown, Queen of Daggers, shouting. </div><div class="MsoNormal" style="font-family: Georgia,"Times New Roman",serif;"><br />
</div><div class="MsoNormal" style="font-family: Georgia,"Times New Roman",serif;">I cue the pianist to continue with the fluffy music he is playing. “Your purse is safe in the room where everyone got ready. It is locked and you can get it after the ceremony, but we are already running late and we REALLY need to get this going. Guests have been patiently waiting.”</div><div class="MsoNormal" style="font-family: Georgia,"Times New Roman",serif;"><br />
</div><div class="MsoNormal" style="font-family: Georgia,"Times New Roman",serif;">“I!!! NEED!!! MY!!!! PURSE!!!!” She shouted and by the time she finished, I Do Intern was already sprinting to retrieve the purse which I expected to be made out of platinum or housing a dozen gold bars. She had her purse and we were underway. </div><div class="MsoNormal" style="font-family: Georgia,"Times New Roman",serif;"><br />
</div><div class="MsoNormal" style="font-family: Georgia,"Times New Roman",serif;">We got everyone successfully down the aisle, married and onto the reception. Things ran fairly smoothly at the reception. Everyone was through the buffet line, the toasts had been completed and things were going really well. </div><div class="MsoNormal" style="font-family: Georgia,"Times New Roman",serif;"><br />
</div><div class="MsoNormal" style="font-family: Georgia,"Times New Roman",serif;">I sent the I Do Intern home, she had experience a lot at her first wedding, thus leading to a phone call saying she had made a career change. </div><div class="MsoNormal" style="font-family: Georgia,"Times New Roman",serif;"><br />
</div><div class="MsoNormal" style="font-family: Georgia,"Times New Roman",serif;">I was getting ready to head home when I heard a commotion. I head a woman yelling and someone crying. I grabbed a security officer and headed to investigate what was going on. </div><div class="MsoNormal" style="font-family: Georgia,"Times New Roman",serif;"><br />
</div><div class="MsoNormal" style="font-family: Georgia,"Times New Roman",serif;">I see a young girl crying (who I remember being the Groom’s half sister) and Mother of the Groom, Queen of Eye Daggers, with a death grip on the young girl’s arm. </div><div class="MsoNormal" style="font-family: Georgia,"Times New Roman",serif;"><br />
</div><div class="MsoNormal" style="font-family: Georgia,"Times New Roman",serif;">“Is everything ok?” I said calmly looking only at the girl, who was probably 12 years old at the very oldest. </div><div class="MsoNormal" style="font-family: Georgia,"Times New Roman",serif;"><br />
</div><div class="MsoNormal" style="font-family: Georgia,"Times New Roman",serif;">“It’s none of your business!” The mother said. It was my business. The girl was reaching for me, it was my business. </div><div class="MsoNormal" style="font-family: Georgia,"Times New Roman",serif;"><br />
</div><div class="MsoNormal" style="font-family: Georgia,"Times New Roman",serif;">“You are NOT living with HIM!!” the Dagger Wielding Mother said.</div><div class="MsoNormal" style="font-family: Georgia,"Times New Roman",serif;"><br />
</div><div class="MsoNormal" style="font-family: Georgia,"Times New Roman",serif;">Running out of the room was the Father of the Groom. “Queen of Daggers! Stop it!! Leave her alone!” he shouted.</div><div class="MsoNormal" style="font-family: Georgia,"Times New Roman",serif;"><br />
</div><div class="MsoNormal" style="font-family: Georgia,"Times New Roman",serif;">“Ma’am, let the girl go and you and Father of the Groom need to step outside to take care of this matter.” I Do Officer said. She looked at the I Do Officer square in the eyes, and pushed the girl against the wall. I ran right over to her while the I Do Officer grabbed the Queen of Daggers by the arm and escorted her out of the building. </div><div class="MsoNormal" style="font-family: Georgia,"Times New Roman",serif;"><br />
</div><div class="MsoNormal" style="font-family: Georgia,"Times New Roman",serif;">“She made me choose…..She made me choose.” The girls kept sobbing. So, here is what lead up to showdown. While the slideshow of pictures of the happy couple with all of the parents, grandparents and siblings through the years and sappy music was playing, the Mother of the Groom, looked at the young girl and said, “Your dad and I have something to tell you. We are getting a divorce and you need to choose right now, before we go back to the hotel, who you want to live with.” Obviously, the girl chose to live with her father. Poor thing! I wanted to sweep her up and take her home with me. </div><div class="MsoNormal" style="font-family: Georgia,"Times New Roman",serif;"><br />
</div><div class="MsoNormal" style="font-family: Georgia,"Times New Roman",serif;">We got everything taken care of. The Queen of Daggers was escorted to the hotel by the I Do Officer and while at the hotel, the I Do Officer grabbed all of the girl’s clothes and belongings and brought them to the reception hall. </div><div class="MsoNormal" style="font-family: Georgia,"Times New Roman",serif;"><br />
</div><div class="MsoNormal" style="font-family: Georgia,"Times New Roman",serif;">Everything got calmed down, no one really witnessed the scene. The groom didn’t find out until the next day, and all was well in wedding reception land. As I said my good-byes to the bride, groom, mothers, fathers, and siblings, I was laughing because at that time, the unknowing DJ began playing Sister Sledge. </div><div class="MsoNormal" style="font-family: Georgia,"Times New Roman",serif;"><br />
</div><div class="MsoNormal" style="font-family: Georgia,"Times New Roman",serif;">“We are fam-a-lee! I got all my sisters with me. We are fam-a-lee! Get up every body and SING!”</div><div class="MsoNormal" style="font-family: Georgia,"Times New Roman",serif;"><br />
</div><div class="MsoNormal" style="font-family: Georgia,"Times New Roman",serif;">Oh Sister Sledge, little did you know how ironically funny that song summed up my entire trip through the planning process and down the aisle with Stacy and Robert.</div><div class="MsoNormal" style="font-family: Georgia,"Times New Roman",serif;"><br />
</div><div class="MsoNormal" style="font-family: Georgia,"Times New Roman",serif;">With Love,</div><div class="MsoNormal" style="font-family: Georgia,"Times New Roman",serif;">I Do Expert</div>I Do Experthttp://www.blogger.com/profile/17352826686002485647noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-184177069893917730.post-51382599936201650832010-07-08T16:59:00.000-04:002010-07-08T16:59:44.396-04:00Faux Pas<div style="font-family: Georgia,"Times New Roman",serif;"><span style="font-size: small;">When I first met Belle and Michael, there were no red flags. They were a cute, young couple who seems so in love and excited to be married that it oozed from them. I pegged them as a simple, chic and classy wedding from the beginning. They hired the I Do Decorator for all of their décor, the I Do Florist was coming in to do some fresh flowers, there was a complete host bar and everything seemed to be coming together smoothly. I didn’t have any problems with either Belle or Michael while planning the event. They were nice and generally even tempered with very few “bridezilla” moments. Actually, very little of the whole planning process even sticks out in my mind. I don’t remember much at all, except for one faux pas, and in my professional opinion a huge one! </span></div><div style="font-family: Georgia,"Times New Roman",serif;"><span style="font-size: small;"><br />
</span></div><div style="font-family: Georgia,"Times New Roman",serif;"><span style="font-size: small;">I don’t know if you will find it in etiquette books or not, but it has become very popular for brides and grooms to have gifts for each on of their guests who attend the wedding reception. The expense of the favors as well as the type of favor varies quite dramatically from reception to reception. Sometimes it is a box of candy with the newlywed’s name or monogram, sometimes a picture frame or a donation to organizations special to the bride, groom and their guests. Belle and Michael decided on a glass frame that matched the color scheme for the event with the words “Thank you!” in the picture area of the frame. </span></div><div style="font-family: Georgia,"Times New Roman",serif;"><span style="font-size: small;"><br />
</span></div><div style="font-family: Georgia,"Times New Roman",serif;"><span style="font-size: small;">I know, you are all reading this thinking, everything sounds so nice, I wish I could have attended. Wait for it…..wait for it……</span></div><div style="font-family: Georgia,"Times New Roman",serif;"><span style="font-size: small;"><br />
</span></div><div style="font-family: Georgia,"Times New Roman",serif;"><span style="font-size: small;">At the center of each table, on top of the linens, next to the centerpiece was an envelope. Each table had one envelope labeled simply with the table number on it. The guests noticed the envelopes as they sat at their tables. There were no directions. </span></div><div style="font-family: Georgia,"Times New Roman",serif;"><span style="font-size: small;"><br />
</span></div><div style="font-family: Georgia,"Times New Roman",serif;"><span style="font-size: small;">Wait for it…..wait for it….</span></div><div style="font-family: Georgia,"Times New Roman",serif;"><span style="font-size: small;"><br />
</span></div><div style="font-family: Georgia,"Times New Roman",serif;"><span style="font-size: small;">After everyone had taken their seats, the surprise was revealed. </span></div><div style="font-family: Georgia,"Times New Roman",serif;"><span style="font-size: small;"><br />
</span></div><div style="font-family: Georgia,"Times New Roman",serif;"><span style="font-size: small;">If this were a scene in a movie, a black screen would pop up and in big white letters it would say “Three Days Earlier.” </span></div><div style="font-family: Georgia,"Times New Roman",serif;"><span style="font-size: small;"><br />
</span></div><div style="font-family: Georgia,"Times New Roman",serif;"><span style="font-size: small;">During a meeting we were doing a final meeting to go through the timelines and details for the big days ahead. </span></div><div style="font-family: Georgia,"Times New Roman",serif;"><span style="font-size: small;"><br />
</span></div><div style="font-family: Georgia,"Times New Roman",serif;"><span style="font-size: small;">“We are NOT doing the dollar dance.” Belle blurted out with a tone of disgust.</span></div><div style="font-family: Georgia,"Times New Roman",serif;"><span style="font-size: small;"><br />
</span></div><div style="font-family: Georgia,"Times New Roman",serif;"><span style="font-size: small;">Good, I thought. I know it is come to be a “tradition” of sorts at wedding receptions, but I am not a fan of the dollar dance. You are in a room surrounded by family and friends who you have invited to spend your special day with and who have also likely sent you a gift or brought one that night for you (not to mention gifts to your bridal showers, engagement parties, or gifts just because) and you are asking them to give you money to dance with you. Please. I have never participated in a dollar dance and don’t know that I will. I get the idea behind it. Help the poor newlyweds start their lives together with some money, or give them spending money for their honeymoon, but isn’t that want the birdcage jam packed with envelopes filled with money are for?</span></div><div style="font-family: Georgia,"Times New Roman",serif;"><span style="font-size: small;"><br />
</span></div><div style="font-family: Georgia,"Times New Roman",serif;"><span style="font-size: small;">Sorry about that, let me get a ladder to step down off of my soap box to continue the story. </span></div><div style="font-family: Georgia,"Times New Roman",serif;"><span style="font-size: small;"><br />
</span></div><div style="font-family: Georgia,"Times New Roman",serif;"><span style="font-size: small;">After Belle announced they were not doing a dollar dance she continued, </span></div><div style="font-family: Georgia,"Times New Roman",serif;"><span style="font-size: small;"><br />
</span></div><div style="font-family: Georgia,"Times New Roman",serif;"><span style="font-size: small;">“But we have come up with something really fun! Instead of having to dance with people, we are going to put envelopes on the tables. We are going to have the DJ announce that everyone at the table is supposed to pool money together to put into the envelope and the table with the most money will get to go through the buffet line first.”</span></div><div style="font-family: Georgia,"Times New Roman",serif;"><span style="font-size: small;"><br />
</span></div><div style="font-family: Georgia,"Times New Roman",serif;"><span style="font-size: small;">I think that I sputtered a series of “Um” and “Hmmm” statements while picking my jaw up off the floor and trying to form any sort of complete sentence.</span></div><div style="font-family: Georgia,"Times New Roman",serif;"><span style="font-size: small;"><br />
</span></div><div style="font-family: Georgia,"Times New Roman",serif;"><span style="font-size: small;">“Well not first, but first after the bridal party.” Belle corrected herself.</span></div><div style="font-family: Georgia,"Times New Roman",serif;"><span style="font-size: small;"><br />
</span></div><div style="font-family: Georgia,"Times New Roman",serif;"><span style="font-size: small;">Phew!!! That makes all the difference in the world Belle! I was of course most concerned about the etiquette of you going first through the buffet line after you have asked your guests to PAY for the chance to go through after you, but before all of the other guests. </span></div><div style="font-family: Georgia,"Times New Roman",serif;"><span style="font-size: small;"><br />
</span></div><div style="font-family: Georgia,"Times New Roman",serif;"><span style="font-size: small;">I was beside myself. Actually, anytime I think of this story, I just get so embarrassed for the couple. </span></div><div style="font-family: Georgia,"Times New Roman",serif;"><span style="font-size: small;"><br />
</span></div><div style="font-family: Georgia,"Times New Roman",serif;"><span style="font-size: small;">If I would have been a guest at that wedding, I would have gotten up, dug through the gift table to find the gift I brought and left. </span></div><div style="font-family: Georgia,"Times New Roman",serif;"><span style="font-size: small;"><br />
</span></div><div style="font-family: Georgia,"Times New Roman",serif;"><span style="font-size: small;">I remember being in the room when the DJ announced the “game” with the envelopes. Looking around the room, some people were mortified, shocked and appalled. I am guessing the only people who thought that this was a “good” idea were the bride, groom and possibly their parents (since they didn’t veto it from the beginning). </span></div><div style="font-family: Georgia,"Times New Roman",serif;"><span style="font-size: small;"><br />
</span></div><div style="font-family: Georgia,"Times New Roman",serif;"><span style="font-size: small;">I am guessing that you could look in every etiquette book and will never find it acceptable to ask for people to pay to be at your wedding, pay to dance with you or pay to be the first to go through the buffet line. If you do find something stating that this is acceptable behavior by any adult, burn it! </span></div><div style="font-family: Georgia,"Times New Roman",serif;"><span style="font-size: small;"><br />
</span></div><div style="font-family: Georgia,"Times New Roman",serif;"><span style="font-size: small;">xoxoxo,</span></div><div style="font-family: Georgia,"Times New Roman",serif;"><span style="font-size: small;">I Do Expert</span></div>I Do Experthttp://www.blogger.com/profile/17352826686002485647noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-184177069893917730.post-39282181865788902282010-07-02T17:36:00.006-04:002010-07-02T22:10:39.671-04:00SURPRISE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!<meta content="text/html; charset=utf-8" http-equiv="Content-Type"></meta><meta content="Word.Document" name="ProgId"></meta><meta content="Microsoft Word 11" name="Generator"></meta><meta content="Microsoft Word 11" name="Originator"></meta><link href="file:///C:%5CDOCUME%7E1%5CKendrak%5CLOCALS%7E1%5CTemp%5Cmsohtml1%5C01%5Cclip_filelist.xml" rel="File-List"></link><style>
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<div class="MsoNormal"><span style="font-family: Arial;">I have been milling about the following story I’m going to share with you for a couple of weeks now because I cannot decide if it is<o:p></o:p></span></div><div class="MsoNormal" face="verdana"><br />
</div><div class="MsoNormal" face="verdana"><span style="font-family: Arial;"> a) kind;<o:p></o:p></span></div><div class="MsoNormal" face="verdana"><span style="font-family: Arial;"> b) weird or<o:p></o:p></span></div><div class="MsoNormal" face="verdana"><span style="font-family: Arial;"> c) kind of weird<o:p></o:p></span></div><div class="MsoNormal" face="verdana"><br />
</div><div class="MsoNormal" face="verdana"><span style="font-family: Arial;">You decide for yourself.<o:p></o:p></span></div><div class="MsoNormal" face="verdana"><br />
</div><div class="MsoNormal" face="verdana"><span style="font-family: Arial;">A few weeks ago I met with a woman regarding a wedding and reception for her daughter. This is not unusual to meet with the mother of the bride, especially because a majority of women getting married these days are also full time employees, so usually a mother who is retired or has a little more flexibility with her employer is tasked with finding out information on wedding planners, decorators, venues, churches, etc.</span><br />
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<span style="font-family: Arial;"></span><br />
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<span style="font-family: Arial;"><o:p></o:p></span></div><div class="MsoNormal" face="verdana"><span style="font-family: Arial;">I sat down with Mother of the Bride, Marsha, to talk about general information about her daughter’s special day to give her an idea of the services I can provide as well as give her some other vendors information etc. Boy was I wrong.<o:p></o:p></span></div><div class="MsoNormal" face="verdana"><br />
<span style="font-family: Arial;">Marsha proceeded to fill me in on the “fun” she and her future son-in-law have been having planning details of her daughter’s wedding. <i>Oh how fun!</i> I thought. It is great when you see a groom and future mother-in-law get along, let alone enjoy planning a wedding together. This may come as a shock, but not all grooms obsess about every details of the wedding and reception. Weird, I know!<o:p></o:p></span></div><div class="MsoNormal" face="verdana"><br />
</div><div class="MsoNormal" face="verdana"><span style="font-family: Arial;">Well then she hit me with this little number, “They aren’t officially engaged yet….”<o:p></o:p></span></div><div class="MsoNormal" face="verdana"><br />
</div><div class="MsoNormal" face="verdana"><span style="font-family: Arial;">“Oh gosh, that’s okay!” I said.<o:p></o:p></span></div><div class="MsoNormal" face="verdana"><br />
</div><div class="MsoNormal" face="verdana"><span style="font-family: Arial;">Then I thought to myself, <i>Gosh, this girl must really have her heart set on a certain date</i>.<o:p></o:p></span></div><div class="MsoNormal" face="verdana"><br />
</div><div class="MsoNormal" face="verdana"><span style="font-family: Arial;">“She doesn’t know when she getting engaged.” Marsha continued “It is going to be a surprise!” She was smiling from ear to ear like a Cheshire Cat.<o:p></o:p></span></div><div class="MsoNormal" face="verdana"><br />
</div><div class="MsoNormal" face="verdana"><span style="font-family: Arial;">“Well that is so much fun!!” I squealed.<o:p></o:p></span></div><div class="MsoNormal" face="verdana"><br />
</div><div class="MsoNormal" face="verdana"><span style="font-family: Arial;">“So after she gets engaged, her fiancé is going to bring her over to my house and we are going to show her all of the work we have done picking out a date, church, reception hall….” At this point, I almost reached for an umbrella because I thought Marsha was going to burst with excitement. <o:p></o:p></span></div><div class="MsoNormal"><br />
</div><div class="MsoNormal"><span style="font-family: Arial;">Suddenly this woman’s voice sounded like the teacher on <i>The Peanuts</i> and in my head I was screaming <i>STOP!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! DON’T MAKE PLANS FOR HER!!!</i><o:p></o:p></span></div><div class="MsoNormal"><br />
</div><div class="MsoNormal"><u1:p></u1:p><span style="font-family: Arial;"> <meta content="text/html; charset=utf-8" equiv="Content-Type"></meta> I gritted my teeth and smiled through the urge to strangle her. I cannot imagine making these important decisions for someone, <b>especially</b> my own daughter! Without a thought or single bit of remorse, Marsha droned on and on about how she chose the date for <s>her wedding</s>…her daughter’s wedding, the location of the ceremony & reception, photographer, colors and so on and so on. I lost count of how many times she had to correct her self from saying "my wedding" to "my daughter's wedding." I tried reaching for the nearest airsickness bag, but we were in my office, not a 747! (Note to self: Locate barf bags with the "I Do Expert" Logo on them! That could be a huge hit for me as well as nervous brides and grooms - I think I am on to something here!)<o:p></o:p></span></div><div class="MsoNormal"><br />
</div><div class="MsoNormal"><u1:p></u1:p><span style="font-family: Arial;">I tried to recommend just putting the date on hold until the engagement and not signing a contract or making a deposit for me and other vendors. It isn’t like the date is next month – it is in two years!!!! But NOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!!!! She <b>HAD </b>to have the contract signed. I reminded her of my policies regarding no refunds and she didn’t care.<o:p></o:p></span></div><div class="MsoNormal"><br />
</div><div class="MsoNormal"><u1:p></u1:p><span style="font-family: Arial;">So I prepared a contract and handed the pen over. She returned it with a check (which surprisingly cleared the bank, because as I have learned when dealing with CRAZY, not all checks clear the bank). <o:p></o:p></span></div><div class="MsoNormal"><br />
</div><div class="MsoNormal"><span style="font-family: Arial;">It is official. I am involved in my first Surprise Wedding! I know, I can hear some of you already..."It is romantic!" and "Everyone loves a surprise!" My dissenting opinion would be as follows: Engagements are romantic, sometimes. Not everyone loves surprises, especially my dad. Surprises can be romantic. Choosing a wedding date, wedding location, reception location, colors, florists, photographer, bakers, caterer, wedding planner, etc is NOT romantic or fun! <o:p></o:p></span></div><div class="MsoNormal"><br />
</div><div class="MsoNormal"><span style="font-family: Arial;">I am I will keep you posted. I am afraid it is going to be a LONG two years with Marsha planning her daughter's dream wedding, scratch that, I mean Marsha's dream wedding.<o:p></o:p></span></div><div class="MsoNormal"><br />
</div><div class="MsoNormal"><u1:p></u1:p><span style="font-family: Arial;">The little voice in the back of my mind is questioning -<o:p></o:p></span></div><div class="MsoNormal"><span style="font-family: Arial;">"What if he proposes and she says “No!”?? <o:p></o:p></span></div><div class="MsoNormal"><br />
</div><div class="MsoNormal"><span style="font-family: Arial;">We will all have to wait and see!<o:p></o:p></span></div><div class="MsoNormal"><br />
</div><div class="MsoNormal"><u1:p></u1:p><span style="font-family: Arial;">xoxoxo,<o:p></o:p></span></div><div class="MsoNormal"><span style="font-family: Arial;">I Do Expert<o:p></o:p></span></div><div class="MsoNormal"><br />
</div>I Do Experthttp://www.blogger.com/profile/17352826686002485647noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-184177069893917730.post-87207015788859647252010-06-25T16:02:00.002-04:002010-06-25T16:27:26.349-04:00Catching Up on Wedding Fun FactsI have been busy! There has been a lot going on so far this summer and with wedding season in full bloom, I do not expect to be able to breath until November. So although I have managed to get cards to my sister and her fiance in the mail on my scheduled mailing days to keep up with their wedding excitement building, I have let you down! I will be better, I promise!<br /><br />Here are the three weekly posts that have slipped off of my list of things to do...where are those little fairies that are supposed to help me accomplish my list of things to do in a timely manner anyway, I don't think I approved their vacation time!<br /><br />1) Did you know, that according to etiquette books and professionals, it is not necessary, in order to be in accordance with etiquette rules and regulations, that the number of bridesmaids and groomsmen match. This should be more well published than what it is, I think in order to alleviate disagreements between brides and grooms when choosing bridal party members.<br /><br />Side Bar: Through some research, there are also no written rules stating that all men must stand up for the groom and all women for the bride. For example, there is nothing saying that the person filling the "Maid of Honor" role has to be a woman.<br /><br />2) I have always collected quotes. Sometimes I feel like someone else can express exactly what I want to say better than I would be able to, so some of the wedding excitement building is in the form of quotations for my sister and future brother in law.<br /><br />One of my favorite people, Lucy Van Pelt, once said<br /> "All I really need is love, but a little chocolate now and then doesn't hurt!"<br /><br />3) This is an interesting little wedding fun fact. Did you know that in Holland, it is (or was at some point in time) a tradition to plant a pine tree outside of the newlywed's home. This was for prosperity and good fortune.<br /><br />Until next time loyal friends!<br /><br />Love,<br />I Do ExpertI Do Experthttp://www.blogger.com/profile/17352826686002485647noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-184177069893917730.post-64121335917193851662010-06-16T20:50:00.003-04:002010-06-16T20:57:42.391-04:00What Goes Around Comes Back Around<span style="font-family:verdana;">Hello, my name is I Do Expert and I am a judger. </span><br /><br /><span style="font-family:verdana;">We’ve all heard the saying “don’t judge a book by its cover” right? But everyone does! Do you know how many bad books I have sitting on my shelves because I thought the cover looked fun or cute! Well when I met Melissa and Ryan, I judged, oh boy did I judge! </span><br /><br /><span style="font-family:verdana;">Melissa and Ryan arrived at my office for the first consultation separate...in his and her black Range Rovers. <br /><br />ALERT....ALERT....Judgement #1 this is going go to be a NICE wedding reception, I know that’s terrible, I am ashamed to admit it! </span><br /><br /><span style="font-family:verdana;">They walked into my office hand in hand, young, smiling and eager to meet. <br /><br />ALERT....ALERT....Judgement #2 - this is going to be a really FUN wedding reception.<br /><br />These two looked so in love that they could have been that couple in the silver picture frame that we buy for friends getting married. This is going to be a good one! I will admit, coming off of a slow winter, I was pretty excited.</span><br /><br /><span style="font-family:verdana;">When I met Melissa and Ryan (all judgements aside) I really liked them. I thought they were fun, young and nice, everything a wedding planner hopes for! I remember thinking Ryan was a little quiet, but most grooms are. I am not sure if it is nerves or maybe just wanting to go with the flow to make his blushing bride happier and saying yes to everything she wants, but I found out later why he was so terribly quiet.</span><br /><br /><span style="font-family:verdana;">They signed the contract and paid a deposit. I was still optimistically excited about working with this couple. I even referred them to the I Do Decorator, thinking she would have just as much fun with them. She called and thanked me for the referral. </span><br /><br /><span style="font-family:verdana;">It was a quick planning process, thank goodness. Ryan and Melissa came to me only 4 months before their nuptials. Soon it began. The phone calls, the emails, the constant-ness of Melissa. (She OBVIOUSLY has never read “It’s a Nice Day for a White Wedding” on my blog, since she violated almost every rule and piece of advise given!)</span><br /><br /><span style="font-family:verdana;">Over the next four months, every single day went a little something like this. </span><br /><br /><span style="font-family:verdana;">Monday - 8:00 am</span><br /><span style="font-family:verdana;"> <br />Voicemail: “Hi I Do Expert, this is Melissa, I hope you had a really nice weekend. I have a questions about the size of the tables. Call me whenever you have time.”</span><br /><br /><span style="font-family:verdana;">Monday - 8:45 am</span><br /><span style="font-family:verdana;"> <br />Voicemail: “Hi again, it’s Melissa, can you call me when you get this?”</span><br /><br /><span style="font-family:verdana;">Monday - 9:06 am</span><br /><span style="font-family:verdana;"> <br />Email: “I Do Expert, I just left you a voicemail. I have a question. PLEASE call me back.”</span><br /><br /><span style="font-family:verdana;">Monday - 9:09 am</span><span style="font-family:verdana;"> Phone Call</span><br /><br /><span style="font-family:verdana;"> Melissa: “Hello?”</span><br /><span style="font-family:verdana;"> <br />Me: “Hi Melissa! It’s the I Do Expert, how are you? I got your...”</span><br /><span style="font-family:verdana;"> <br />Melissa: “Where have you been? I have been trying to get a hold of you!!”</span><br /><span style="font-family:verdana;"> <br />Me: “I know, I got your multiple voicemails and emails. Are you okay? Is everything ok?”</span><br /><span style="font-family:verdana;"> <br />Melissa: “Yes everything is fine. I just NEED to know the size of the tables!” (she’s out of breath at this point and possibly near panic attack at this point).</span><br /><span style="font-family:verdana;"> <br />Me: “Okay, just calm down. Do you mean the tables for your escort cards? Guest Tables? Which tables do you need dimensions for, all of them?”</span><br /><span style="font-family:verdana;"> <br />Melissa: “GUEST TABLES!!!!!!!!!!!!”</span><br /><br /><span style="font-family:verdana;">After moving the handset of my phone to the ear that had an intact ear drum from not being assaulted by Melissa’s shrilling. I calmly said “Oh the guest tables did you say? They are 60 inches across. So if you want a linen to be floor length the would need to be....”</span><br /><br /><span style="font-family:verdana;"> Melissa: “OMG! Thanks so much I Do Expert!!! You are the best! Have a great day!”</span><br /><br /><span style="font-family:verdana;">ALERT.....ALERT......Judgement #3 - I am 97% sure Melissa is bipolar or unstable or has some disorder where Prozac should be prescribed.</span><br /><br /><span style="font-family:verdana;">Each day I walked into work, I would peek at my phone with sheer terror - how many voicemails do I have? 3? 4? 5? 14!!!!! I have 14 voicemails over night? These better not be from Melissa!!</span><br /><br /><span style="font-family:verdana;">“You have fourteen voicemail messages” the little woman trapped inside my telephone tells me. </span><br /><br /><span style="font-family:verdana;">First Message “Hi I Do Expert! It’s Melissa........”</span><br /><br /><span style="font-family:verdana;">Delete.</span><br /><br /><span style="font-family:verdana;">Second Message “It’s Melissa......”</span><br /><br /><span style="font-family:verdana;">Delete.</span><br /><br /><span style="font-family:verdana;">Third Message “Hi. It is now 8:15 am. I have called and emailed. Please return my call immediately.”</span><br /><br /><span style="font-family:verdana;">Delete.</span><br /><br /><span style="font-family:verdana;">Fourth Message “Hey! It’s me (I Do Decorator), thanks for the referral! She seems so nice, her name is Melissa.”</span><br /><br /><span style="font-family:verdana;">Delete. </span><br /><br /><span style="font-family:verdana;">Messages five, nine, eleven, twelve, thirteen and fourteen were all Melissa. </span><br /><br /><span style="font-family:verdana;">ALERT.....ALERT....Judgement #4 I am 100% certain that Melissa needs Prozac.</span><br /><br /><span style="font-family:verdana;">I immediately got onto my computer and Googled “Bridezillas.” Maybe they can share this woman’s crazy with the world. </span><br /><br /><span style="font-family:verdana;">Well, faithful readers, you get the point. Day after day, I was inundated by Melissa, her voicemails, emails and craziness. I won’t bore you with the months of daily crazy. </span><br /><br /><span style="font-family:verdana;">Moving forward four months to the weekend of the blessed nuptials. I kept telling myself “Just make it through this weekend. It will all be over soon!” So Friday, was decorating day with the bride and her loyal maids. These girls were....well, let’s just say they weren’t kind. I didn’t think the day of decorating with the “special” ladies was ever going to end. When it did, and the room was to the brides liking, we were done. The bridesmaids were off for mani's and pedi's then to the rehearsal. No one offered for me to get a mani and pedi, but c’est la vie!</span><br /><br /><span style="font-family:verdana;">Finally the wedding is here. Someone at my office gave out my personal cell phone numbers, SOOOOO my Saturday morning was NOT relaxing. Between phone calls from Melissa, her mom, and her future mother-in-law, I was off and running. </span><br /><br /><span style="font-family:verdana;">I always try to tell brides that timelines are great, and can only be estimations. Usually the bridal party gets behind schedule and that’s fine; enjoy the time with family, friends and new spouse! Melissa wasn’t having that. When she said pictures would be finished at the church at 5:45 p.m. and the bridal party would be heading to the reception location, she meant it. Unfortunately, one of the bridesmaids didn’t make it on the party bus with the rest of the group. She arrived about ten minutes later in the car of a friend. The bridesmaid was in the restroom fixing her hair, which Melissa told her “was an embarrassment and ruined her ceremony” when the party bus left. Thank goodness this young woman had a cell phone to call someone to get her, although had it been me, I believe I would have called someone to come and get me, but not take me to the reception. </span><br /><br /><span style="font-family:verdana;">Once the bridesmaid made it to the reception hall, we ushered her to the head table to take her seat, although she could have found it herself by following the laser beams the bride was shooting at her. That’s right, Melissa and Ryan, continued with getting announced without the stranded bridesmaids. I immediately grabbed the bridesmaid a very strong adult beverage, on my tab, and took it to her at the table. Thank graciously thanked me with tears in her eyes. Part of me wanted to smack her in the face, wake her up from the nightmare and tell her to get the heck out of dodge. She stayed, smiled and participated in the rest of the wedding reception from the bouquet toss to the chicken dance. Later that night I said to her, “Why did you even come here after she left you?” And the woman simply said “She is my friend; I was honored she asked me to participate in her day; I made a commitment to her and Ryan; and she made me spend $400 on this dress and I was going to dance in it.” This woman wins my Bridesmaid of the Year award. </span><br /><br /><span style="font-family:verdana;">We have all experienced moments observing someone do something, then hope and pray that karma comes back to kick them in the ass. That is exactly why I was cracking up laughing when at the end of the reception, as the limo pulled up to whisk the happy newlyweds off to the airport to begin their honeymoon I could hear Melissa screaming at someone on her cell phone about having to change their airline tickets to depart Monday instead of Sunday followed closely by the eight groomsmen carrying a passed out groom to the limo. Ahhhhh sweet justice!</span><br /><br /><span style="font-family:verdana;">I like to believe that I can learn something from every person I meet. I learned exactly how not to treat people from Melissa, I learned to never judge a book by its cover and I also learned grace under pressure from the bridesmaid.</span><br /><br /><span style="font-family:verdana;">Without Judgement,</span><br /><br /><span style="font-family:verdana;">I Do Expert</span>I Do Experthttp://www.blogger.com/profile/17352826686002485647noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-184177069893917730.post-66894516911370586102010-05-27T13:28:00.003-04:002010-05-27T13:44:13.737-04:00Going to the Chapel and She's Gonna Get Married!Sound the trumpets and bugles!!(And by the way, when they are sounded just picture glitter and confetti blowing out of them!) I'm back!!!!!<br /><br />I know that most of you (all 3 of my loyal readers) have been sitting on the edges of your seats anticipating the day that I can pour myself back into this blog, well ladies and gentlemen, the time is now. <br /><br />To get things rolling again, I have an exciting announcement.....one of my sisters is engaged and the wedding planning has begun! I couldn't be more thrilled for the happy couple and I am so excited to see what ideas she comes up with for her special day. <br /><br />I was racking my brain on ways to keep her excited through the year long planning and I have compiled some wedding fun facts, quotes on love, and inspirations that I am sending her each week. I love you all, loyal readers, but I want her to be the first to read them, so I am going to post the fun tidbits about a week after I send them to her. <br /><br />Drum roll please..........................<br /><br />Wedding Fun Fact #1:<br /><br />Wedding engagement rings are worn on the fourth finger of the left hand because it was long believed a vein ran from that finger directly to the heart.<br /><br />How sweet is that! <br /><br />Stay tuned for more weekly tidbits and more true stories of the I Do Expert to come!<br /><br />With Love and Excitement, <br />I Do ExpertI Do Experthttp://www.blogger.com/profile/17352826686002485647noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-184177069893917730.post-47311815320724609902009-08-05T15:54:00.009-04:002009-08-05T16:49:29.223-04:00"It's a Nice Day for a White Wedding"<meta equiv="Content-Type" content="text/html; charset=utf-8"><meta name="ProgId" content="Word.Document"><meta name="Generator" content="Microsoft Word 11"><meta name="Originator" content="Microsoft Word 11"><link rel="File-List" href="file:///C:%5CDOCUME%7E1%5CKendrak%5CLOCALS%7E1%5CTemp%5Cmsohtml1%5C01%5Cclip_filelist.xml"><!--[if gte mso 9]><xml> <w:worddocument> <w:view>Normal</w:View> <w:zoom>0</w:Zoom> <w:punctuationkerning/> <w:validateagainstschemas/> <w:saveifxmlinvalid>false</w:SaveIfXMLInvalid> <w:ignoremixedcontent>false</w:IgnoreMixedContent> <w:alwaysshowplaceholdertext>false</w:AlwaysShowPlaceholderText> <w:compatibility> <w:breakwrappedtables/> <w:snaptogridincell/> <w:wraptextwithpunct/> <w:useasianbreakrules/> <w:dontgrowautofit/> </w:Compatibility> <w:browserlevel>MicrosoftInternetExplorer4</w:BrowserLevel> </w:WordDocument> </xml><![endif]--><!--[if gte mso 9]><xml> <w:latentstyles deflockedstate="false" latentstylecount="156"> </w:LatentStyles> </xml><![endif]--><style> <!-- /* Style Definitions */ p.MsoNormal, li.MsoNormal, div.MsoNormal {mso-style-parent:""; margin:0in; margin-bottom:.0001pt; mso-pagination:widow-orphan; font-size:12.0pt; font-family:"Times New Roman"; mso-fareast-font-family:"Times New Roman";} @page Section1 {size:8.5in 11.0in; margin:1.0in 1.25in 1.0in 1.25in; mso-header-margin:.5in; mso-footer-margin:.5in; mso-paper-source:0;} div.Section1 {page:Section1;} --> </style><!--[if gte mso 10]> <style> /* Style Definitions */ table.MsoNormalTable {mso-style-name:"Table Normal"; mso-tstyle-rowband-size:0; mso-tstyle-colband-size:0; mso-style-noshow:yes; mso-style-parent:""; mso-padding-alt:0in 5.4pt 0in 5.4pt; mso-para-margin:0in; mso-para-margin-bottom:.0001pt; mso-pagination:widow-orphan; font-size:10.0pt; font-family:"Times New Roman"; mso-ansi-language:#0400; mso-fareast-language:#0400; mso-bidi-language:#0400;} </style> <![endif]--><meta equiv="Content-Type" content="text/html; charset=utf-8"><meta name="ProgId" content="Word.Document"><meta name="Generator" content="Microsoft Word 11"><meta name="Originator" content="Microsoft Word 11"><link rel="File-List" href="file:///C:%5CDOCUME%7E1%5CKendrak%5CLOCALS%7E1%5CTemp%5Cmsohtml1%5C01%5Cclip_filelist.xml"><!--[if gte mso 9]><xml> <w:worddocument> <w:view>Normal</w:View> <w:zoom>0</w:Zoom> <w:punctuationkerning/> <w:validateagainstschemas/> <w:saveifxmlinvalid>false</w:SaveIfXMLInvalid> <w:ignoremixedcontent>false</w:IgnoreMixedContent> <w:alwaysshowplaceholdertext>false</w:AlwaysShowPlaceholderText> <w:compatibility> <w:breakwrappedtables/> <w:snaptogridincell/> <w:wraptextwithpunct/> <w:useasianbreakrules/> <w:dontgrowautofit/> </w:Compatibility> <w:browserlevel>MicrosoftInternetExplorer4</w:BrowserLevel> </w:WordDocument> </xml><![endif]--><!--[if gte mso 9]><xml> <w:latentstyles deflockedstate="false" latentstylecount="156"> </w:LatentStyles> </xml><![endif]--><style> <!-- /* Style Definitions */ p.MsoNormal, li.MsoNormal, div.MsoNormal {mso-style-parent:""; margin:0in; margin-bottom:.0001pt; mso-pagination:widow-orphan; font-size:12.0pt; font-family:"Times New Roman"; mso-fareast-font-family:"Times New Roman";} @page Section1 {size:8.5in 11.0in; margin:1.0in 1.25in 1.0in 1.25in; mso-header-margin:.5in; mso-footer-margin:.5in; mso-paper-source:0;} div.Section1 {page:Section1;} --> </style><!--[if gte mso 10]> <style> /* Style Definitions */ table.MsoNormalTable {mso-style-name:"Table Normal"; mso-tstyle-rowband-size:0; mso-tstyle-colband-size:0; mso-style-noshow:yes; mso-style-parent:""; mso-padding-alt:0in 5.4pt 0in 5.4pt; mso-para-margin:0in; mso-para-margin-bottom:.0001pt; mso-pagination:widow-orphan; font-size:10.0pt; font-family:"Times New Roman"; mso-ansi-language:#0400; mso-fareast-language:#0400; mso-bidi-language:#0400;} </style> <![endif]--> <p class="MsoNormal" style="font-family:georgia;"><span style=";font-family:georgia;font-size:100%;" >I was at dinner recently with a friend and colleague of mine, the I Do Decorator, we discussed some memories and weddings we have worked on. From that conversation, I have come up with this list of suggestions and Do’s and Don’ts for brides planning their special day.</span><span style="font-size:100%;"> </span></p> <p class="MsoNormal" style="font-family:georgia;"><span style="font-size:100%;"><o:p> </o:p></span></p> <ul><li><span style="font-size:100%;">Do keep in mind that you are not the only person getting married.</span><span style="font-size:100%;"> </span><span style="font-size:100%;">I are working with many other brides and your wedding, happiness and memories are VERY important to me, but I am probably working with at least fifty or more other brides.</span></li></ul> <p class="MsoNormal" style="font-family:georgia;"><span style="font-size:100%;"><o:p> </o:p></span></p> <ul><li><span style="font-size:100%;">Don’t theme your wedding.</span><span style="font-size:100%;"> </span><span style="font-size:100%;">This is NOT a birthday party or college kegger.</span><span style="font-size:100%;"> </span><span style="font-size:100%;">This is your wedding.</span><span style="font-size:100%;"> </span><span style="font-size:100%;">If after talking with friends and family who will be honest with you please read “Five Alarm Fire.”</span></li></ul> <p class="MsoNormal" style="font-family:georgia;"><span style="font-size:100%;"><o:p> </o:p></span></p> <ul><li><span style="font-size:100%;">Do think seriously about waiting at least six months (or more) after your groom is out of jail before getting married.</span><span style="font-size:100%;"> </span><span style="font-size:100%;"></span><span style="font-size:100%;"> </span><span style="font-size:100%;">I believe you.</span><span style="font-size:100%;"> </span><span style="font-size:100%;">I’m sure he’s innocent and that “the man” has the wrong guy, but just think about it, ok?</span></li></ul> <p class="MsoNormal" style="font-family:georgia;"><span style="font-size:100%;"><o:p> </o:p></span></p> <ul><li><span style="font-size:100%;">Do remember your bridesmaids will probably never wear that dress again; especially if it involves tulle, taffeta, lace and any color besides black, brown or gray.</span><span style="font-size:100%;"> </span><span style="font-size:100%;">Each one of these fabulous women will buy whatever dress you choose because they love you, but don’t show them the picture of the mermaid cut, form fitting, hot pink dress with aqua blue tulle spitting out of the bottom and say “I chose this because I thought you could wear it again sometime.”</span><span style="font-size:100%;"> </span><span style="font-size:100%;">Did you really?</span></li></ul> <p class="MsoNormal" style="font-family:georgia;"><span style="font-size:100%;"><o:p> </o:p></span></p> <ul><li><span style="font-size:100%;">Don’t be “that bride” and get so intoxicated that you can’t remember your wedding.</span><span style="font-size:100%;"> </span><span style="font-size:100%;">If you decide to drink in your wedding dress, try to stick with something clear like vodka and Sprite.</span><span style="font-size:100%;"> </span><span style="font-size:100%;">Red wine, cherry pucker, and cranberry juice are never friends with someone wearing all white.</span></li></ul> <p class="MsoNormal" style="font-family:georgia;"><span style="font-size:100%;"><o:p> </o:p></span></p> <ul><li><span style="font-size:100%;">Do think long term about the colors you choose for your wedding.</span><span style="font-size:100%;"> </span><span style="font-size:100%;">Baby shower pink is not a good color on you, your bridesmaids, decorations or anything….unless it is a baby shower.</span><span style="font-size:100%;"> </span><span style="font-size:100%;">You will have these pictures and memories FOREVER – do you really want an all light pink reception?</span></li></ul> <p class="MsoNormal" style="font-family:georgia;"><span style="font-size:100%;"><o:p> </o:p></span></p> <ul><li><span style="font-size:100%;">Do be a kind and supportive Mother of the Bride, I know you are paying for everything, but really, this is your daughter’s special day.</span><span style="font-size:100%;"> </span><span style="font-size:100%;">Let her make some decisions and try not to call me as soon as she is out of the room to change things to how you want them.</span></li></ul> <p class="MsoNormal" style="font-family:georgia;"><span style="font-size:100%;"><o:p> </o:p></span></p> <ul><li><span style="font-size:100%;">Do remember that limits are good.</span><span style="font-size:100%;"> </span><span style="font-size:100%;">Limit the number of bridal showers you have.</span><span style="font-size:100%;"> </span><span style="font-size:100%;">Limit the distance the showers are in respect to the attendees.</span><span style="font-size:100%;"> </span><span style="font-size:100%;">Limit the number of bridesmaids and groomsmen.</span><span style="font-size:100%;"> </span><span style="font-size:100%;">You don’t need to have every friend you know buy the dress, shoes, tux, etc.</span><span style="font-size:100%;"> </span><span style="font-size:100%;">Four bridesmaids are good, but 12 are too many.</span><span style="font-size:100%;"> </span></li></ul> <p class="MsoNormal" style="font-family:georgia;"><span style="font-size:100%;"><o:p> </o:p></span></p> <ul><li><span style="font-size:100%;">Don’t let your meetings with vendors, decorators, wedding planners, etc last more than an hour.</span><span style="font-size:100%;"> </span><span style="font-size:100%;">I know you have a lot to do, and so do I so like a professor of mine always said – K.I.S.S (Keep It Simple Stupid).</span></li></ul> <ul><li><span style="font-size:100%;">Don’t ask me to do the impossible.</span><span style="font-size:100%;"> </span><span style="font-size:100%;">Although I am here to make your event run smooth and help you have an unforgettable night, I cannot repaint the walls of your chosen venue, regardless of how much you insist beige doesn’t flow well with your color scheme.</span><span style="font-size:100%;"> </span><span style="font-size:100%;">I will also not lay carpet or hire someone to install carpet on the marble floors no matter how much you think your feet will be cold when dancing barefoot, bring slippers.</span></li></ul> <p class="MsoNormal" style="font-family:georgia;"><span style="font-size:100%;"><o:p> </o:p></span></p> <ul><li><span style="font-size:100%;">Don’t go barefoot.</span><span style="font-size:100%;"> </span><span style="font-size:100%;">Do you know how many other people and things have walked on these floors?</span><span style="font-size:100%;"> </span><span style="font-size:100%;">Toss a pair of slippers or something into your bridal bag.</span><span style="font-size:100%;"> </span><span style="font-size:100%;">Barefoot all night may equal black feet and possibly the development of some type of foot fungus.</span><span style="font-size:100%;"> </span></li></ul> <p class="MsoNormal" style="font-family:georgia;"><span style="font-size:100%;"><o:p> </o:p></span></p> <ul><li><span style="font-size:100%;">Don’t register at too many places.</span><span style="font-size:100%;"> </span><span style="font-size:100%;">Yes, options for your gift givers are always good, but your list of registries should not be longer than a legal size sheet of paper.</span></li></ul> <p class="MsoNormal" style="font-family:georgia;"><span style="font-size:100%;"><o:p> </o:p></span></p> <ul><li><span style="font-size:100%;">Don’t take out a second, third or fourth mortgage on your home (or your parent’s home) to pay for your wedding reception.</span></li></ul> <p class="MsoNormal" style="font-family:georgia;"><span style="font-size:100%;"><o:p> </o:p></span></p> <ul><li><span style="font-size:100%;">Do invite only immediate family when you are getting married for the third, fourth or fifth time.</span><span style="font-size:100%;"> </span><span style="font-size:100%;">I mean, how many toasters and blenders do you really need?</span></li></ul> <p class="MsoNormal" style="font-family:georgia;"><span style="font-size:100%;"><o:p> </o:p></span></p> <ul><li><span style="font-size:100%;">Don’t get married on a day where the numbers line up to be consecutive or matching (i.e. 07/08/09 or 09/09/09) for luck.</span><span style="font-size:100%;"> </span><span style="font-size:100%;">There is nothing that proves this to be “lucky.”</span><span style="font-size:100%;"> </span><span style="font-size:100%;">Any other day of the year is just as “lucky.”</span><span style="font-size:100%;"> </span><span style="font-size:100%;">Marriage is not about luck, but about love, patience, compromise, hard work and faith.</span></li></ul> <p class="MsoNormal" style="font-family:georgia;"><span style="font-size:100%;"><o:p> </o:p></span></p> <ul><li><span style="font-size:100%;">Don’t take it out on me.</span><span style="font-size:100%;"> </span><span style="font-size:100%;">I am here for support and to help you, but I am not your verbal punching bag.</span></li></ul> <p class="MsoNormal" style="font-family:georgia;"><span style="font-size:100%;"><o:p> </o:p></span></p> <ul><li><span style="font-size:100%;">Do only invite the people you want to share your special day with.</span><span style="font-size:100%;"> </span><span style="font-size:100%;">If you think that your Maid of Honor’s third cousin is weird – don’t invite him!</span><span style="font-size:100%;"> </span><span style="font-size:100%;">Your wedding day is about surrounding yourself with people who love, support and celebrate you and your groom, not inviting as many people as possible.</span></li></ul> <p class="MsoNormal" style="font-family:georgia;"><span style="font-size:100%;"><o:p> </o:p></span></p> <ul><li><span style="font-size:100%;">Do remember that your first kiss as husband and wife does not need to involve tongue.</span><span style="font-size:100%;"> </span><span style="font-size:100%;">Remember your dad is in the front row with your grandma!</span></li></ul> <p class="MsoNormal" style="font-family:georgia;"><span style="font-size:100%;"><o:p> </o:p></span></p> <ul><li><span style="font-size:100%;">Don’t include “cash gifts only” anywhere on your wedding invitation.</span><span style="font-size:100%;"> </span><span style="font-size:100%;">This may be considered by all of your guests to be rude and if it were me giving you a “cash only gift” I would give you a penny.</span></li></ul> <p class="MsoNormal" style="font-family:georgia;"><span style="font-size:100%;"><o:p> </o:p></span></p> <ul><li><span style="font-size:100%;">Don’t forget about the feelings of your loved ones.</span><span style="font-size:100%;"> </span><span style="font-size:100%;">Yes this day is about celebrating you and your chosen spouse, but there are a lot of people who love you helping you throughout the process, don’t forget that a special thank you and kind words are appreciated.</span><span style="font-size:100%;"> </span></li></ul> <p class="MsoNormal" style="font-family:georgia;"><span style="font-size:100%;"><o:p> </o:p></span></p> <p class="MsoNormal" style="font-family:georgia;"><span style="font-size:100%;">Take to heart this advice.</span><span style="font-size:100%;"> </span><span style="font-size:100%;">You will want to be remembered as a kind, loving and fun bride, not the kind of bride that has stories and blogs written about her!
<br /></span></p><p class="MsoNormal" style="font-family:georgia;"><span style="font-size:100%;">
<br /></span></p> <p class="MsoNormal" style="font-family:georgia;"><span style="font-size:100%;"><o:p> </o:p></span></p> <p class="MsoNormal" style="font-family:georgia;"><span style="font-size:100%;">XOXO,</span></p> <p class="MsoNormal" style="font-family:georgia;"><span style="font-size:100%;"><o:p> </o:p></span></p> <p class="MsoNormal" style="font-family:georgia;"><span style="font-size:100%;">The “I Do” Expert</span></p> I Do Experthttp://www.blogger.com/profile/17352826686002485647noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-184177069893917730.post-47544188566815664652009-06-12T11:47:00.001-04:002009-06-12T11:47:55.420-04:00Daddy's Little GirlSpencer Tracy. Steve Martin. Robert DeNiro. Alan Alda. Alex Rocco. What do these men have in common? Each played the role of “father of the bride” in a movie at some point in his career. This same role is played by men around the world everyday. I am sure it is a bittersweet time in every dad’s life, walking his baby girl down the aisle and giving her hand to the man she has chosen to spend the rest of her life with. I am sure that each father has a picture in his mind of what his daughter’s husband will be like. He should be kind, funny, moral, caring, a provider such as a doctor, lawyer, or CEO. Dads want to give their girls the world and so much more. I don’t think that Sasha’s dad ever dreamed when she was a little girl that she would marry the man that she did on that beautiful summer evening in 2007. <br /><br />I never actually met Sasha or her fiancé. I only ever dealt with Sasha’s father. The bride’s mother wasn’t even very involved. She was the perfect wife who made sure her husband was fed at 5:00pm everyday, that he had his cocktail and very “Joan Cleaver.” She was a sweetheart. I loved her immediately. <br /><br />He always wore a jacket or cardigan, khakis, monogrammed dress shirt, bow tie, and penny loafers. She always wore something sweet and cute. She was fashionable and always had her purse and shoes perfectly matched. Although her outfits were very cute she was very practical. I pictured that as soon as they entered the house she neatly placed her pocketbook on the entrance table, enter the kitchen and tie on an apron. They were the sweetest couple and very kind. <br /><br />I affectionately called him “dad-zilla.” He was very specific in what he wanted and didn’t want for the wedding and reception. He picked out the invitations, the music, the menu, the song the couple danced to, the decorations, etc. At first I thought it was so nice that he was helping so much. Then it got to be a little weird that he never wanted me to ask her questions or call her about anything. It hit me! This must be an arranged marriage. I didn’t know that white, upper class, Americans did that - but to each his own, right? This could be the happiest union in the state. As we grow up it we learn that our parents are right about a lot more things that we give them credit for, so maybe we should trust them to pick out a spouse. Maybe Tina Turner was right “What’s love got to do with it?” <br /><br />As the planning continued I found myself getting more excited as the reception neared. I couldn’t wait to see the bride and groom see each other for the first time. It was four days until the reception and dad-zilla called me everyday. He wanted to bring the photo DVD in to test the color, he wanted to check the table arrangements, he wanted to make sure that each table cloth was centered on the tables; but most importantly, he wanted everything perfect for his only daughter. <br /><br />During one meeting, dad-zilla was testing the slide show. He insisted that “Joan Cleaver,” the mother of the bride, and I kept our backs to the slide show (he didn’t want anyone seeing his work until the color schemes were perfect). As we chatted, I learned that bride and groom had been dating for seven years and they have actually known each other for fifteen years. <br /><br />“So this isn’t an arranged marriage?” I wanted to shout. Bummer! <br /><br />The love birds met at a conference they both attended professionally. Hmmmm. Maybe they are teachers? Architects? I found myself not listening to Mrs. Cleaver and instead trying to think of professions that hold conferences for professional advancements. I had a long list in my head of what the bride and groom might do. I was completely bamboozled. I wanted to turn around and sneak a picture of the bride and groom, just a glimpse! Every time Mrs. Cleaver thought I was about the turn around she would say:<br /><br />“Remember honey, Mr. Griswold wants it to be a surprise for everyone.”<br /><br />“Yes ma’am, sorry.” But what’s the big surprise. Is the bride the only human to have two heads, seven arms, and four ears? Why make it a surprise? I mean if I was the parent of someone with two heads, seven arms and four ears I would show her picture to everyone before she got there so that no one stared! What were these people thinking - show me the mutant bride!! <br /><br />Finally, wedding day was here. I was anxious, I’ll admit it. I hope that I could live up to the standards that dad-zilla set for me. I didn’t get a chance to attend the wedding ceremony. Dad-zilla had that under control. I was assigned to be at the reception hall to greet guests as they arrived. As the Cadillac, BMW and Lexus automobiles drove into the parking lot I thought to myself that this would be a pretty early evening and that the group would be very tame. <br /><br />Guests began entering the reception hall. All very nicely dressed for a summer wedding and reception, mid to upper sixties, white hair, professionally and neatly dressed, then I heard a roar coming from the parking lot, a very distinctive sound, the only sound to be patented – the sound of a very large group of motorcycles. I wonder if they have the wrong reception hall? This will be a little awkward to send them away and make sure that none of the older guests are uncomfortable with the group entering in more leather than in one might find at a cow farm in Idaho. <br /><br />“Hello! Are you here for the Griswold / Todd Reception?” I asked.<br /><br />“Yes miss we are.” said the burley man covered in leather. “Do you have a place we could leave our helmets?”<br /><br />“Sure, follow me.” I open up the cloak room for Hell’s Angels’ helmets. At least they believe in safety first! That’s a plus!<br /><br />As everyone was mingling during cocktail hour, I just kept thinking about the newlyweds. When they hugged, did she hug with two arms or all seven? Then I noticed something as I looked through the mingling guests, we had another group of people added to our interesting little concoction of wedding reception guests. There were the conservative guests in their floral dresses and suits, then we had the bikers and the other groups....does that guy have a tattoo on his head? Yes he did! There were guests covered in tattoos and piercings. <br /><br />I began gathering our proverbial melting pot of guests to the location where the bride and groom were going to be announced. I had my staff with the bridal party, the band leader was in place for the announcing and now I had to run in the back to check on the caterers. <br /><br />“It is my pleasure to announce Mr. and Mrs. Trevor Todd!!!” the band leader said. Everyone stood up and applauded. Darn it for not having 6’ 5” parents! I couldn’t see over any of the guests to catch a glimpse of the happy couple. <br /><br />Everyone ate and had a great time. It seemed like anytime I scanned the room of over 400 guests to try to find the bride in a big white dress her back was to me. Dad-zilla and Joan Cleaver FINALLY brought the bride and groom by to introduce them to me just before the first dance and the father / daughter dance. <br /><br />Sasha was beaming - she was wearing a smile ear to ear and so was her groom, Trevor. He was bald with a nicely trimmed long goatee (no not ZZ Top long). He shook my hand and I noticed her name tattooed across his fingers. She had her hair done in an “up do” with tendrils framing her face and she had on a beautiful dress. She was covered in tattoos. <br /><br />As I talked to Sasha and Trevor, I learned that she was the top tattoo artist in the state and that he was a custom motorcycle designer and builder. It finally all made sense, all of the different guests belonged to each of their different lives, friends, and family. It really was beautiful, that I think Sasha and Trevor would have been just as happy eloping or getting married in Vegas and having a huge party, Sasha knew how much this meant to her father and they went through the whole ceremony and evening and loved every moment of it. <br /><br />To see Sasha and her dad spinning around the dance floor to Judy Garland singing “Somewhere Over the Rainbow.” Joan Cleaver said:<br /><br />“This is ‘their’ song. He sang this song to her every night until she moved out of the house to go to college and sometimes even then they would sing it on the phone together. “<br /><br />I had tears welling up in my eyes. Every time I hear that song I always picture Sasha and her dad dancing on that day. There is a special bond between father and daughter that is unexplainable. It was a beautiful moment and I am so lucky to have been a part of their special day.<br /><br />Love,<br /><br />The I Do ExpertI Do Experthttp://www.blogger.com/profile/17352826686002485647noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-184177069893917730.post-77774557562938717942009-05-03T23:55:00.000-04:002009-05-25T18:48:43.295-04:00"Love is All You Need"<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:'Lucida Grande';font-size:11;"><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: medium;">Everyone has a thought or two about marriage and weddings. Some of you dream about small weddings with only family, some want to invite the whole town and close down Main Street, while others are just as happy jumping on a plane to Vegas and getting married by "The King" himself.</span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: medium;"><br /></span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: medium;">We love "LOVE." We love weddings, celebrating and hearing two people make promises to one another that are selfless, perfect and amazing.... "I Erik take you Ariel to be my wife, to have and to hold, through sickness and in health, for richer and poorer, as long as we both shall live." It's okay, wipe away the tears. </span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: medium;"><br /></span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: medium;">Were The Beatles right? Is love all we really need? I think so! There is nothing that cannot be accomplished with the love of friends, family, and "the one." But I will admit, there were times, wedding, and receptions where I didn't think that there was enough love in the world to pull it off. In the end, I am happy to say that I have never had a runaway bride and I have never had a reception not happen. It has been close, but so far in my wedding planning career - I am batting a thousand.</span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: medium;"><br /></span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: medium;">I hope you enjoy my stories and journey, but like any fabulous Lifetime movie - the places and names have been changed to protect the lovely people I have had the chance to work with, but believe me....everything else is pure fact. I couldn't make this stuff up.</span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: medium;"><br /></span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: medium;">So with this ring, I thee wed.</span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: medium;">Love,</span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: medium;">The "I Do" Expert</span></div></span><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:'Lucida Grande';"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: medium;"><br /></span></span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:'Lucida Grande';"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: medium;"><br /></span></span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:'Lucida Grande';font-size:11;"><br /></span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:'Lucida Grande';font-size:11;"></span></div>I Do Experthttp://www.blogger.com/profile/17352826686002485647noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-184177069893917730.post-9673259540447399552009-05-02T10:03:00.000-04:002009-05-25T18:48:59.951-04:00Five Alarm Fire<div align="left"><br /><br /> “Love is a burnin’ thing,<br /> It makes a fiery ring.<br /> Bound by my desires,<br /> I fell into a ring of fire.”<br /> Johnny Cash & June Carter Cash<br /><br />After my first meeting with Sarah and Billy, I knew that this wedding was going to be a roller coaster. She was probably in her late 30s and he in his early 30s. She already had two children, and he was not the father. Sarah definitely wore the pants in the relationship.<br /><br />Sarah knew exactly what she wanted to happen at her wedding reception during our first meeting which took place about two years prior to the wedding day. A month later, when we met again, everything changed. Then three months later, a complete change again. I do not like to use pencils, they always smudge, but I found that anytime I had an appointment with Sarah I automatically reached for a pencil because I knew something was going to change. At one point, we had to change the whole bridal party because they all had an intervention with her about how controlling and demanding she was and that they were through with it. Hello, red flag! Of course they were all just jealous of the love that she and Billy had and she had SO many friends it would be easy to find replacements.<br /><br />This will be a wedding that will always stick out in my mind. Why? Because it was themed. My only experience with themed weddings at this point had been watching “A Wedding Story” on TLC. Sarah and Billy wanted a firefighter themed wedding. Nope, this wasn’t a birthday party for Sarah’s four year old son; you read correctly, this is for their wedding. Maybe the “Volunteer Firefighters Do It For Free” T-shirt the groom to be was sporting should have tipped me off, but sitting at the table it was like a backdraft swept through the room and took my breath away.<br /><br />A firefighter themed wedding. What do I know about a firefighter wedding? Thinking that maybe the theme would change the next time we had a meeting, I didn’t put too much thought into it except having the bride and groom arrive at the wedding reception in a fire engine. I guess I wrote this down only because I never thought that it would be allowed. I mean what would happen if there was an actual fire and the fire truck was joy riding around town. I can see the head lines now. “Million Dollar Homes Burn So That Bride Could Make A Red Hot Entrance.”<br /><br />Well, apparently, volunteer firefighters have a lot of pull in the department. We had the fire truck on loan for the arrival of the bride and groom. I shared the news at our meeting. “Sarah, Billy, great news! We have a fire truck secured for your wedding reception to bring you to the party!” Yes, I successfully accomplished my first theme wedding. “All of your guests know you are a firefighter, so I was thinking we could use red flowers, black linens, and make it very elegant and incorporate colors associated with firefighting.” I was proudly patting myself on the back for making a “themed” wedding as classy as possible on the budget we were working with, but not going too cheesy like four year old birthday party with fire trucks, helmets, hoses, etc. When I looked across the table smiling at Sarah and Billy, their blank stares indicated that they either hated the ideas or that I was now speaking fluent German. “And what else?” Sarah finally said.<br /><br />OK, think......think......think.....channel your inner Johnny Cash, Garth Brooks, and James Taylor. They all sang about fire, how can we make it work? "Ring of Fire” Nah. “Standing Outside The Fire?” Definite possibilities, firefighters try to keep people standing outside the fire. “Fire and Rain.” Yes! Mix some blues in the color scheme, maybe smoke, fire and water?<br /><br />“I know!” Billy says. I was relieved because at least they were talking to me and I wasn’t fired. “Let’s use our fire hose,” Hmmmmmm. Really? Interesting idea. “And fire protection gear.” Billy continued. Waiting for a reaction from the mousey bride, I bit my lip. “Please say no, please say no, please say no” I chanted in my head. “I LOVE IT!!!!!!!!!!!!” she squeaked. “That’s why I love you! Isn’t he great!” she gushed. Seriously? You want fire hose, helmets, boots, and toy trucks at your wedding? Ok, to each his own right?<br /><br />Decor and color scheme. Check!<br /><br />When it came to guests and food, I have never been involved in such a harebrained scheme in my whole life. The bride wanted to have a wedding reception and wedding that maxed out the reception hall and church. She wanted no less than 500 guests. Great! The more the merrier! Well, except for the fact that dear little Sarah only wanted to actually serve dinner to thirty guests, just close family and friends.<br /><br />After I picked my jaw up off the ground, I tried logic and reason to get Sarah to understand this was not acceptable. You cannot feed only a small fraction of your guests! “Well,” she says very matter-of-factly, “it is not like we aren’t going to give them anything.” Phew! Maybe she just wanted a private dining room for those thirty guests and I misunderstood. They will definitely do some food for the other 470 guests. It is the only thing to do, who only serves 30 people at a wedding. “We will have the bar open while the others are waiting for us to eat.” As she smiled at me and tapped her acrylic nails accented with “diamonds,” All I could hear was my mom’s voice run through my head. “If you can’t say something nice, don’t say anything at all.” So I smiled back at her, meanwhile my brain was moving a mile a minute. “You can’t do this! You can’t serve only 30 guests!” I wanted to scream at her, but I couldn’t.<br /><br />“Great!” she says “Thanks for your time! We will talk to you soon.” And off into the sunset drove the volunteer fireman and his blushing bride to be.<br /><br />Stunned and Speechless,<br /><br />The I Do Expert</div>I Do Experthttp://www.blogger.com/profile/17352826686002485647noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-184177069893917730.post-87070927033805436482009-05-01T13:19:00.000-04:002009-05-25T18:47:45.934-04:00When a heart is on fire, sparks always fly out of the mouth<p style="margin: 0.0px 0.0px 0.0px 0.0px; font: 12.0px Helvetica"><span style="letter-spacing: 0.0px">Mid-morning my phone rings. “Good Morning, the I Do Expert. How can I help you?” I said as cheerfully as possible for a Monday morning. “You could help me by doing what you told me you were going to do!!!” screeched the voice on the phone. </span></p> <p style="margin: 0.0px 0.0px 0.0px 0.0px; font: 12.0px Helvetica; min-height: 14.0px"><span style="letter-spacing: 0.0px"></span><br /></p> <p style="margin: 0.0px 0.0px 0.0px 0.0px; font: 12.0px Helvetica"><span style="letter-spacing: 0.0px">Robin Williams’ voice fills my head saying “<span class="blsp-spelling-error" id="SPELLING_ERROR_0">GOOOOOOOOOOD</span> Morning Vietnam!” As soon as Mr. Williams finishes, my mind begins racing as to who this caller could possibly be....and it hit me. Who could be that rude on the telephone? The only bride in the world who would be so rude as to serve only thirty guests dinner at her wedding reception. “Good Morning Sarah. Something seems to be bothering you, what can I do to fix it?”</span></p> <p style="margin: 0.0px 0.0px 0.0px 0.0px; font: 12.0px Helvetica; min-height: 14.0px"><span style="letter-spacing: 0.0px"></span><br /></p> <p style="margin: 0.0px 0.0px 0.0px 0.0px; font: 12.0px Helvetica"><span style="letter-spacing: 0.0px">It had been months since I had heard from “sweet”, “kind” Sarah. Actually, I was glad I <span class="blsp-spelling-error" id="SPELLING_ERROR_1">hadn</span>’t heard from her in a while. I had followed up with her via email immediately after our meeting with the estimate for her wedding reception and the fifth floor plan we had worked up. As we were still over a year away from the wedding, the firefighter themed wedding, I could not imagine what on earth she was so upset about. Then I thought, Billy realized what he had gotten himself in for and the whole thing was going to be cancelled.</span></p> <p style="margin: 0.0px 0.0px 0.0px 0.0px; font: 12.0px Helvetica; min-height: 14.0px"><span style="letter-spacing: 0.0px"></span><br /></p> <p style="margin: 0.0px 0.0px 0.0px 0.0px; font: 12.0px Helvetica"><span style="letter-spacing: 0.0px">To the silence on the phone line I said “Sarah, is everything okay with you and Billy?”</span></p> <p style="margin: 0.0px 0.0px 0.0px 0.0px; font: 12.0px Helvetica; min-height: 14.0px"><span style="letter-spacing: 0.0px"></span><br /></p> <p style="margin: 0.0px 0.0px 0.0px 0.0px; font: 12.0px Helvetica"><span style="letter-spacing: 0.0px">“Of course it is! Everything is not okay with me and you!” she barked.</span></p> <p style="margin: 0.0px 0.0px 0.0px 0.0px; font: 12.0px Helvetica; min-height: 14.0px"><span style="letter-spacing: 0.0px"></span><br /></p> <p style="margin: 0.0px 0.0px 0.0px 0.0px; font: 12.0px Helvetica"><span style="letter-spacing: 0.0px">“Sarah, what has you so upset this morning. You said that I haven’t done something that you wanted me to do?”</span></p> <p style="margin: 0.0px 0.0px 0.0px 0.0px; font: 12.0px Helvetica; min-height: 14.0px"><span style="letter-spacing: 0.0px"></span><br /></p> <p style="margin: 0.0px 0.0px 0.0px 0.0px; font: 12.0px Helvetica"><span style="letter-spacing: 0.0px">“Yes, where’s the floor plan you said you were going to be sending me?”</span></p> <p style="margin: 0.0px 0.0px 0.0px 0.0px; font: 12.0px Helvetica; min-height: 14.0px"><span style="letter-spacing: 0.0px"></span><br /></p> <p style="margin: 0.0px 0.0px 0.0px 0.0px; font: 12.0px Helvetica"><span style="letter-spacing: 0.0px">The floor plan that you have changed eight times? The floor plan that you insist on setting up completely different than anything I recommend? I wanted to say, but instead I kindly said “I am sorry you are so upset over this. I sent the floor plan the day after our meeting three months ago. Why don’t I go ahead and send it to you again.....” Well long story short, and I will spare you the obscenities that she called me, Sarah changed her email address and forgot to give it to me. She had changed from her maiden name to her married name already. Not once did she apologize for jumping off the deep-end over a floor plan for an event over a year away, but she shoved the blame off on me saying “Maybe you <span class="blsp-spelling-error" id="SPELLING_ERROR_2">aren</span>’t as good as everyone says you are because if I were you, I would have known that I would change my email eventually.” </span></p> <p style="margin: 0.0px 0.0px 0.0px 0.0px; font: 12.0px Helvetica; min-height: 14.0px"><span style="letter-spacing: 0.0px"></span><br /></p> <p style="margin: 0.0px 0.0px 0.0px 0.0px; font: 12.0px Helvetica"><span style="letter-spacing: 0.0px">Sure Sarah, aside from being a stellar wedding and party planner, I forgot to mention I am a mind reader! So I have her new email address and sent the floor plan on. </span></p> <p style="margin: 0.0px 0.0px 0.0px 0.0px; font: 12.0px Helvetica; min-height: 14.0px"><span style="letter-spacing: 0.0px"></span><br /></p> <p style="margin: 0.0px 0.0px 0.0px 0.0px; font: 12.0px Helvetica"><span style="letter-spacing: 0.0px">A few more months fly by, and Sarah, Billy, and I sit down to go over some details to finalize them (in pen this time)! We have a meeting scheduled. I had blocked off a good portion of my afternoon for the loving couple. We discussed decorations, menu, seating charts, etc. All and all the bride and groom were thrilled. </span></p> <p style="margin: 0.0px 0.0px 0.0px 0.0px; font: 12.0px Helvetica; min-height: 14.0px"><span style="letter-spacing: 0.0px"></span><br /></p> <p style="margin: 0.0px 0.0px 0.0px 0.0px; font: 12.0px Helvetica"><span style="letter-spacing: 0.0px">Let’s fast forward six months to the glorious day of the wedding and reception. Everything runs smooth at the wedding ceremony. The second string bridesmaids did a stellar job of looking like a fairy-tale for the bride. We finish up pictures at the church while the guests are headed to the reception location. Everyone is loaded into the fire truck and they are off. It was like a dream come true....sirens, flashing lights, and people staring to see what was going on. Sarah was thrilled. She was perched on the fire engine like she was the prom queen at a county fair parade. </span></p> <p style="margin: 0.0px 0.0px 0.0px 0.0px; font: 12.0px Helvetica; min-height: 14.0px"><span style="letter-spacing: 0.0px"></span><br /></p> <p style="margin: 0.0px 0.0px 0.0px 0.0px; font: 12.0px Helvetica"><span style="letter-spacing: 0.0px">We arrive at the reception hall and guests are lined up to see the spectacle. Once inside, we get everyone arranged to be announced into the reception when I hear something coming from the back of the line. I rush back to find the bride in the midst of a three year old temper tantrum. She was crying, stomping her feet, and all but flailing on the ground. </span></p> <p style="margin: 0.0px 0.0px 0.0px 0.0px; font: 12.0px Helvetica; min-height: 14.0px"><span style="letter-spacing: 0.0px"></span><br /></p> <p style="margin: 0.0px 0.0px 0.0px 0.0px; font: 12.0px Helvetica"><span style="letter-spacing: 0.0px">“What’s wrong, are you alright?” I say rushing to her and looking for any sign of serious injury.</span></p> <p style="margin: 0.0px 0.0px 0.0px 0.0px; font: 12.0px Helvetica; min-height: 14.0px"><span style="letter-spacing: 0.0px"></span><br /></p> <p style="margin: 0.0px 0.0px 0.0px 0.0px; font: 12.0px Helvetica"><span style="letter-spacing: 0.0px">“I saw someone wearing my shoes! Can you ask them to change? This is my day!” </span></p> <p style="margin: 0.0px 0.0px 0.0px 0.0px; font: 12.0px Helvetica; min-height: 14.0px"><span style="letter-spacing: 0.0px"></span><br /></p> <p style="margin: 0.0px 0.0px 0.0px 0.0px; font: 12.0px Helvetica"><span style="letter-spacing: 0.0px">Seriously. </span></p> <p style="margin: 0.0px 0.0px 0.0px 0.0px; font: 12.0px Helvetica; min-height: 14.0px"><span style="letter-spacing: 0.0px"></span><br /></p> <p style="margin: 0.0px 0.0px 0.0px 0.0px; font: 12.0px Helvetica"><span style="letter-spacing: 0.0px">Seriously? I am looking around for the a guy to jump out and say “Smile, you’re on Candid Camera!” I want to say “Where’s Ashton <span class="blsp-spelling-error" id="SPELLING_ERROR_3">Kutcher</span>? Did I just get <span class="blsp-spelling-error" id="SPELLING_ERROR_4">Punked</span>?” </span></p> <p style="margin: 0.0px 0.0px 0.0px 0.0px; font: 12.0px Helvetica; min-height: 14.0px"><span style="letter-spacing: 0.0px"></span><br /></p> <p style="margin: 0.0px 0.0px 0.0px 0.0px; font: 12.0px Helvetica"><span style="letter-spacing: 0.0px">Instead I look at her and she is dead serious. She was the tiniest little bride and her dress was beautiful and full, you <span class="blsp-spelling-error" id="SPELLING_ERROR_5">couldn</span>’t see her shoes. When she pulled her dress up to reveal the prized possessions that someone dared to wear at her wedding, I lost my breath a little. No they were not Manolo’s, not <span class="blsp-spelling-error" id="SPELLING_ERROR_6">Louboutin</span>’s, not any designer. They were your run of the mill, clear heeled stripper shoes! I am surprised they <span class="blsp-spelling-error" id="SPELLING_ERROR_7">didn</span>’t have glitter or real fish floating around in the heels. It literally took every ounce of me not to bust up laughing at this point. </span></p> <p style="margin: 0.0px 0.0px 0.0px 0.0px; font: 12.0px Helvetica; min-height: 14.0px"><span style="letter-spacing: 0.0px"></span><br /></p> <p style="margin: 0.0px 0.0px 0.0px 0.0px; font: 12.0px Helvetica"><span style="letter-spacing: 0.0px">Out of my handy wedding emergency bag I pull a pair of white, <span class="blsp-spelling-error" id="SPELLING_ERROR_8">glitterized</span> ballet slippers. “Here Sarah,” I say passing them to her. “Slip these on, you are going to want to be comfortable the rest of the night and I can guarantee you no one else in here has a pair of these! I hand made them just for you!” </span></p> <p style="margin: 0.0px 0.0px 0.0px 0.0px; font: 12.0px Helvetica; min-height: 14.0px"><span style="letter-spacing: 0.0px"></span><br /></p> <p style="margin: 0.0px 0.0px 0.0px 0.0px; font: 12.0px Helvetica"><span style="letter-spacing: 0.0px">With tears in her eyes, she threw her arms around me and gave me the biggest hug. She was thrilled. So she was announced, went into the reception and had a fabulous time. </span></p> <p style="margin: 0.0px 0.0px 0.0px 0.0px; font: 12.0px Helvetica; min-height: 14.0px"><span style="letter-spacing: 0.0px"></span><br /></p> <p style="margin: 0.0px 0.0px 0.0px 0.0px; font: 12.0px Helvetica"><span style="letter-spacing: 0.0px">In the end, I convinced her to take the money she would have spent to serve thirty guests lobster and steak, and instead serve all of the guests a nice buffet dinner. So everyone ate! Yippee!!!! </span></p> <p style="margin: 0.0px 0.0px 0.0px 0.0px; font: 12.0px Helvetica; min-height: 14.0px"><span style="letter-spacing: 0.0px"></span><br /></p> <p style="margin: 0.0px 0.0px 0.0px 0.0px; font: 12.0px Helvetica"><span style="letter-spacing: 0.0px">6 Firefighter Uniforms (pants, boots, helmet, and suspenders) for Decor - $300.00 deposit to the Fire Chief</span></p> <p style="margin: 0.0px 0.0px 0.0px 0.0px; font: 12.0px Helvetica"><span style="letter-spacing: 0.0px">500 Buffet Dinners - $3,000</span></p> <p style="margin: 0.0px 0.0px 0.0px 0.0px; font: 12.0px Helvetica"><span style="letter-spacing: 0.0px">2 Fire Hoses for Decor - Free (they had holes in them)</span></p> <p style="margin: 0.0px 0.0px 0.0px 0.0px; font: 12.0px Helvetica"><span style="letter-spacing: 0.0px">Happy Bride and Groom - Priceless</span></p> <p style="margin: 0.0px 0.0px 0.0px 0.0px; font: 12.0px Helvetica; min-height: 14.0px"><span style="letter-spacing: 0.0px"></span><br /></p> <p style="margin: 0.0px 0.0px 0.0px 0.0px; font: 12.0px Helvetica"><span style="letter-spacing: 0.0px">I am so glad to have been able to give Sarah and Billy their dream wedding. I think that every wedding, reception and couple have a lesson they teach me. </span></p> <p style="margin: 0.0px 0.0px 0.0px 0.0px; font: 12.0px Helvetica; min-height: 14.0px"><span style="letter-spacing: 0.0px"></span><br /></p> <p style="margin: 0.0px 0.0px 0.0px 0.0px; font: 12.0px Helvetica"><span style="letter-spacing: 0.0px">Lesson Learned: Dream weddings come in all different shapes and sizes. It is not the final dollar amount spent on a wedding and it is not even doing things by the book. It is sticking to what makes you happy and enjoying every minute of it. Sarah especially taught me patience, smiling through it all. I definitely had to take a “kill them with kindness” mantra to get through this one! </span></p> <p style="margin: 0.0px 0.0px 0.0px 0.0px; font: 12.0px Helvetica; min-height: 14.0px"><span style="letter-spacing: 0.0px"></span><br /></p> <p style="margin: 0.0px 0.0px 0.0px 0.0px; font: 12.0px Helvetica"><span style="letter-spacing: 0.0px">Love,</span></p> <p style="margin: 0.0px 0.0px 0.0px 0.0px; font: 12.0px Helvetica"><span style="letter-spacing: 0.0px">The I Do Expert</span></p> <p style="margin: 0.0px 0.0px 0.0px 0.0px; font: 12.0px Helvetica; min-height: 14.0px"><span style="letter-spacing: 0.0px"></span><br /></p>I Do Experthttp://www.blogger.com/profile/17352826686002485647noreply@blogger.com0