R E S P E C T...Find Out What It Means to Me!

I am a stickler for manners, politeness, kindness and respect. You will hear me telling my staff people – especially the young ladies in high school and college who work for me – about respect. I am sure I sound like a broken record when I tell them “You do not work here to be disrespected! Call me if someone is rude and I will handle it.” There is nothing I hate more than seeing someone doing his or her job and to have someone be rude or violate personal space. I see this disrespect happen much more often to the young ladies that work in the events and wedding industry than men.

Have you read my blog entry “Buyers Remorse?” Well you should, not only is it a fine example of literary excellence, but our little tattoo getting bride’s story doesn’t end there. I try to see the best in everyone. Yes, the bride is on a tight budget, but that is not a bad thing. What is bad is when the Mother of the Bride, is negotiating pricing for different items, amenities, food, etc with all of the vendors she is working with. This isn’t a flea market lady – pay the price they are asking or if you try to negotiate and they tell you it is a firm price, move on and don’t threaten to take your business elsewhere because I am sure they all want to yell from the rooftops – PLEASE GO SOMEWHERE ELSE WITH YOUR BUSINESS!!!!!!!!!!!!

Well, I assumed my staff and I might be in for a LONG night with this lovely bride after a few things happened during the wedding rehearsal.

First, when asking for the final payment due before the wedding and reception (I learned my lesson the hard way about collecting money after the event), the Mother of the Bride said to me “Can the bride pay for the beer after the wedding reception so she can use money people give her as a wedding gift?” After my answer of “No!” was discussed, it was decided that they would pay for beer for their guests, but not soft drinks. WOW!

Second, did I mention that the bride got a tattoo across her entire back to make her dress not look so plain?

Third, the groom and brother of the groom (aka the “Best Man”) arrived individually on their moped / scooters. I do not believe that they were joining the “Go Green” movement; rather neither had valid licenses to drive an actual automobile in the state because of the number of drunken driving charges against them.

When I wake up on the day of the wedding ceremony and reception I ironically have a catchy little tune in my head by the Black Eyed Peas, sing it with me “Tonight’s going to be a good good night.”

Everything moves smoothly with the ceremony, and guests move into the reception area. EVERYONE is asking for beers, but not everyone is 21. As would any respectable establishment, the bartenders are carding guests and stamping his or her hand if over 21. One of the bartenders notices across the room, that there is a guest licking his stamp and pushing his nasty licked hand onto the hand of another person to share the stamp. The newly stamped individual brings his nasty unofficial stamp to the bar and upon being asked for his identification, he yelled at the bartender. She called for me and I decided that for each drink the guest had to show an id and could only get one drink per trip.

Next customer was the dude again who just was denied a drink and yelled at the bartender. He came to me and asked for a beer.

Me: “Can I see your ID?”

Stupid Dude: “What for I’ve got a stamp.”

Me: “I need to see your ID so that I know you’re at least 21.”

Stupid Dude: “Listen Sweetie, I left my ID at home. Can’t I just leave you a big tip and you can pretend like you checked my ID.”

Me: “Nope.”

Stupid Dude: “F*** You! You dumb B****!”

Me: “Soooooo, you don’t want a soft drink or kiddie cocktail maybe?”

We all started laughing, and looked across the room to see Stupid Dude talking to a group of guys and one of them came up to the bar to get a drink. He was of age, so he left with a beer. I heard shouting across the room and here was Stupid Dude chugging a beer.

Luckily, there were uniformed police officers as our security guards that night. We had the officers take the beer from him and ask him not to drink any longer, then the officers were walking back to the bar and Stupid Dude was following the officers, mocking them as they walked. The interaction went a little like this:

Cop: “We took care of it I Do Expert, so we will keep an eye on him.”

Me: “You have an admirer following you.”

Cop: “Oh I know.”

Stupid Dude: “Get me a beer!”

Me: “Um are you talking to me?”

Stupid Dude: “Yes, are you deaf? I said get me a beer!”

Me: “Did you find your ID that you left at home?”

Stupid Dude: “No, but I want a beer.”

Cop: “I Do Expert are you done with this guy?”

Me: “Absolutely!”

Cop: “Listen Stupid Dude, you can only come up here to get a soft drink and if we see you asking for a beer or drinking a beer we will escort you out of the building.”

Stupid Dude begins to mock the cops. Anything they say, Stupid Dude says. Anything they do, Stupid Dude does. Everything appears to be under control, so the officers move to a different area of the building to make sure everything is safe. Stupid Dude follows them. Forty minutes go by and Stupid Dude is still parroting everything that the police officers say and do. By this point Stupid Dude’s friend has joined in on the “fun.” Finally, when Stupid Dude and his friend had transferred their disrespect onto the young co-ed sitting at the front desk greeting people, the police officers escorted both of them out of the building and they were told they couldn’t return.

Cops: “It is time for you to leave.”

Stupid Dude: “What the F***! You can’t do that!”

Cops: “Yes we can. You need to find someone to give you a ride home.”

Stupid Dude: “What’s your badge number Pig so that I can report you?”

Cop #1: “Badge Number 8309.”

Stupid Dude: “I got it and I’m calling it in now Cop 9803”

We all got quite a laugh from Stupid Dude, but I can never imagine treating someone, especially a police officer that way. Things seemed to be back on track. I went to check on the bartenders and the reception. Everyone was dancing and having a good time.

Then I went out to the front desk area to see the bride screaming at the young lady at the reception desk.

Me: “I’m sorry to interrupt this conversation, but is there a problem?” I say as kindly as one can while wanting to punch someone in the face.

Bride: “Yes there’s a problem. People were thrown out of my wedding.”

Me: “There were two men asked to leave the reception, you are correct.”

Bride: “I cannot believe this! They didn’t do anything wrong! They didn’t even hit anyone or get into a fight yet.”

Me: “Well they were disrespectful to the police officers, my staff and they were drinking underage.”

I honestly didn’t make out a lot of the next couple of sentences that were screamed in my face. It was a string of profanities and fingers being pointed in my face. I was in shock and I was doing everything to contain my anger and laughter. I was instantly whisked away to the set of Jerry Springer.

I was brought back into reality by the police officers standing on each side of me. One said “We are done hearing this, are you done? We can take her out of here right now!”

My eyes focus back on the situation and notice that no only is the “lovely” bride still scream at me, but looking around the entrance of the reception facility there is a crowd – I think I noticed a few fist pumps, some Arsenio Hall “whoops,” and other cat calls associated with professional wrestling events or NASCAR and I was ripped from Jerry Springer, back to reality.

Me: “Bride. Listen. Bride. BRIDE!!!”

Bride: “Yeah, B****”

Me: “I am going to give you two choices. A) These officers can take you out of your wedding reception and you can spend your wedding night in jail or B) you can go back into your wedding reception and enjoy the rest of your night.”

Then I was called names that I have never been called before and words I am not even comfortable using asterisks to “bleep” them out.

Within seconds, the officers were being called back to the bar, to help the bartenders “control a situation.”

A few minutes later I was called back to the reception area to speak with the bride’s father. I explained the situation. He was almost in tears from the embarrassment and apologized for his daughter. He supported my decisions 100% and he want back into the reception and hung out by the bar the rest of the night. If a guest even thought about raising his or her voice at one of the bartenders, the father interjected and either told them to go dance or to leave the reception. Thank my lucky stars for this Father of the Bride!!!

The rest of the evening went fairly well. I had to threaten a group of 10 year olds with being arrested to get them to listen to me, we had to clean up intentional spills, but at least there were not any more people who decided they wanted to scream in my face.

When the bar closed and people left the building, we all did a happy dance.

I do believe that we can learn something from every encounter we have during our lives. What did I learn from this bride? Hmmmmm….I learned that a great way to accessorize a wedding dress is to get a tattoo. I also learned a plethora of new curse words.

I have a feeling that this is NOT the last time I will hear from this bride or her family. There is a small part of me that doesn’t want to check my voicemail or answer my phone for the next couple of weeks. I anticipate a phone call from the bride or her mother any second now.

Oh no, my phone is ringing now – I hope it is not them!!!

I Do Expert