Fly on the Wall

At some point in our lives, everyone has wished to over hear a conversation happening behind closed doors.  I know I have said – “Oh I wish I could be a fly on the wall in that room.”

It surprised me when I get into the wedding planning industry that people were curious as to what was happening behind the closed doors where the bride and her maids were getting ready as well as what was going on where the groom and his groomsmen were preparing for the wedding ceremony. 

So many times a grandma or other loved one stops me and asks “What’s going on in there?” or “How is the bride doing?”  Always my answer is something charming like – “Oh she looks beautiful and is so excited,” or “He is smiling ear to ear waiting for his bride.”  While, in my head I am likely singing a different tune.  So what's the point of all of this, you might ask?  I want to share with you some of the things that actually happen behind the closed doors of brides and grooms – both before and after the wedding ceremony.

Anytime you walk into a room of brides and bridesmaids there is excitement in the air, as well as sense of importance.  As far as the bride is concerned, she is the only person in the entire world that matters.  Some bridesmaids have a huge problem with the bride’s self-proclaimed attitude of “this day is all about me.”

Overhead statement by bridesmaids:

            “I definitely look better than the bride.”
            “Don’t you think she could have found a dress that was more flattering?”
            To the bride as she is walking to meet her father “You look so beautiful!!!”….as soon as the door closes “Just not as good as me on my wedding day.”

            It is not all bad – I have seen bridesmaids fall apart like babies when they see the bride in her dress or right before they all walk down the aisle.  Believe me – I broke down when I saw my little, tiny, baby sister in her wedding dress (ok, so she is approximately 14 seconds younger than me).  I think it hits you, when you see someone you love so much walking down the aisle or getting ready to walk down the aisle like a princess to commit to a life of love and marriage.  Every wedding I have been it, or been a part of I have cried.  Even as I send the nastiest bride down the aisle, I still get teary eyed.  It’s touching and like I said in my very first entry – I love LOVE.

Then you walk into the room where the men are getting ready.  Whenever you have a group of men gathered into a room with the door closed – I feel like it turns into a locker room.  After you get over the caged up man smell and excitement, you start to listen.

            “Are you sure buddy? This is the last chance to run!”
            “I saw her and she looks beautiful man!”
            “Dude that stripper so wanted you last night.”

Some of the most touching and magical moments are when a father sees his daughter for the first time in her wedding dress.  I can just picture a father looking at a little six year-old version of his daughter walking towards him in a white poufy dress and over-sized high heels on, then blinking through the tears to realize that it is his grown-up daughter.  It is that moment where a father tries to fight back tears, to ultimately lose the battle in an embrace with his daughter ending with a kiss on the cheek. 

There are moments, however, that are burned into my brain for completely opposite reasons.  A situation where I never wanted to or wished to overhear what was going on in a room, but I experienced it anyway.

One of the most horrifying moments was when I had the groom and groomsmen in place, the grandmothers lined up, I had the Mother of the Groom ready to go, bridesmaids were standing in position and I was missing the Maid of Honor, Mother of the Bride and the Bride.  I was frantically running around looking for them, when I hear a terrible, terrible sound coming from the ladies restroom.  I put my ear to the door and I recognize the sound, and immediately my stomach turns.  Anyone who knows me is well aware that I do NOT handle people getting sick in front of me well.  I tap on the door, open it a little and manage to whisper out “Is everything ok?  We are getting ready to start.”  The Mother of the Bride shouts “We are fine, just get it started and we will be out in a minute.”

I try to avoid the situation, thinking it will be over soon.  So I head over to my assistant to start sending the grandmothers out VERY slowly.  One of the grandmothers grabbed my arm and pulled my face down to hers and said “Honey is everything ok?  I haven’t seen the Bride.”  While my head replays the sounds coming from the bathroom, my stomach turns and I am able to whisper to her “Yes, ma’am.  Everything is fine.”  I straighten her corsage and tell her how beautiful she is and send her down the aisle feeling like the Queen of Sheba. 

I hope and pray that when I turn around, everyone is out of the ladies room and in position, but that is not the case.  So I slowly opened the door to slide in and quickly closed it behind me. 

There was the bride on her knees in front of the toilet, vomiting.  The mother is screaming at her about being irresponsible and getting her dress dirty.  The Maid of Honor is holding her veil and hair, while saying encouraging statements.  This was one of those times I never wished to be a fly on the wall in the room. 

“Ladies, we are ready for you.  Mom, I am going to need you to step outside so you can be seated.”  This kind statement was followed by death glares from the mother and a look of “please save me” from the Maid of Honor. 

They can wait on us!”  the mother shouted at me

“What is your problem?!?” the mother shouts at the bride. 

“I don’t know mother! I guess I either had too much champagne this morning….or I’m pregnant,” the bride says. 

My jaw hit the ground.  No one was laughing.  There was so much tension in the room.  Everyone was uncomfortable and the eggshells on the floor appeared everywhere.  There was no where to go from here. 

Then the Maid of Honor spoke.  In the kindest, most sympathetic and heartfelt voice uttered “Well, you are going to look so skinny in your dress after throwing up for the last 20 minutes that no one will even suspect you are knocked-up.”  Like with that little comment, everything would be fine. 

The bride stood up and smiled at her Maid of Honor, washed her mouth out with water and I shoved a couple of curiously strong mints down her throat.  She straightened her dress and the Maid of Honor floofed her veil.  The Mother of the Bride adjusted her dress and jacket, combed her hair to the side with her hands and all exited the restroom with smiles on their face ready to have a very memorable ceremony and reception. 

Everything seemed to go smoothly throughout the ceremony and evening.  I never saw the Mother of the Bride and Bride speak throughout the evening.    I don’t know what ever happened.  I don’t know if the bride had the flu, was pregnant or what, but it does go to show that there certainly are times that you do NOT want to be a fly on the wall, and this was certainly one of them.